Friday, June 20, 2008

Biggy He Ain't

Who says Halloween doesn't come to Barnegat until late October? If you visit and view their "reader comments" page, you will find a holier-than-thou diatribe by a wannabee journalist named Biggy.

Biggy verbally assaults ET's veracity. He rags on us because we dare to write under a pen-name. The fact that countless high profile reporters (those who, unlike Biggy, make the REAL newspapers) have done likewise since paper first welcomed ink seems irrelevant to Mr. Not So Biggy.

Next, he does a little bible-thumping. Biggy alleges ET might be a blasphemous heathen because we told a local politician to "go to hell." Hey jerk, where the HELL was your voice when Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli, Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo and Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman were using religion as a basis to discriminate against human beings seeking the simple and peaceful ceremony of a civil union?

Sorry Biggy old boy, but you cannot have it both ways. See, one of the biggest problems in Barnegat is that we lack a news media who understand that reporting means more than filling newsprint with meaningless drivel about local cupcake bake-offs and other such earth-shattering events. The watered down newspapers in this area are the single most important reason the corner convenience store carries major dailies from the New York and Philadelphia areas. Save for one or two of the reporters, the alleged "news hounds" on the Barnegat beat wouldn't recognize a news story if it bit them on the backside.

And just what is the "editorial policy" of newspapers that cover Barnegat? Have you ever seen anything that resembles investigative reporting? Other than a Greg Volpe or an Alan Guenther, have you ever read a story by one of the regular reporters that goes beyond a press release or sound byte?

Where were Biggy's heroes when the MRSA scandal broke in Barnegat's schools? Had there been a true press corps in Barnegat, reporters would have dug as deep as needed to uncover and reveal the truth.

Not so in Barnegat. And the hack, whore political machine that has driven the cost of living through the roof loves it this way. When it was learned that Diamond Jack Kelly was given a job at an area airport that he was not qualified for, why did area media not follow-up? C'mon, we had a political bozo rip off Mister and Missus Barnegat for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And all the Biggys of the working press worry about is that ET signs our work "ET."

ET has said it before and will now say it again. Any crumb-bum politician who violates the public trust by trying to flim flam and bamboozle the people of 08005 can go straight to HELL. Do not pass "go." Do not collect $200. Just take an all expense paid trip to HELL. A one-way trip to HELL.

And be sure to send Biggy a post card when you get there.

PS: Hey Biggy, we want to thank you for reading our work. Hell, we KNOW you will keep on reading, too. Sorry, but we don't read yours. Time is a precious commodity and ET does not waste it. ET luvs ya, Biggs! Land O'Goshen! Hallelujah! Yes, yes, YES!