Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Biggy - The Final Chapter

ET does not engage in silliness. We have more productive ways to spend our time then by responding to the asinine pontifications of an individual or group who cannot face facts. In fact, this will be our final words in retort to David Biggy.

David Biggy is a sports writer for a local newspaper. In defense against comments ET has made about area media, Biggy makes a failed and limp-wristed attempt to crucify the men and women who collaborate and conspire to stir our reader's emotions in an effort to motivate them to discuss issues and look beyond the anemic headlines that local print publications provide.

ET is far from being a sports aficionado. Hell, we used to watch baseball when it was still a game. Nowadays, it is more a business. Post-pubescent men making exorbitant salaries (almost as much as The Million Dollar McMahon!) for hitting a ball with a stick. The players real concern being who will get signed for the jock strap commercial or how much can I bilk a child to pay for my autograph. Hey Biggs, remember the days when a ballplayer would be pleased to sign an idolizing child's baseball for free? ET supports local, intramural sports so long as it does not override the academic (and primary) mission of schools.

But let us not stray. Biggy says ET is an "uninformed windbag." He then "repents" by telling us he will pray for forgiveness for losing his cool and making those remarks. And that has to be one of the phoniest, irreverent and most pathetic statements any human being can ever make. It is akin to Barnegat's feckless mayor, Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo, vowing to a friend that "when Cirulli leaves center seat and I become mayor, I will unite you and your soul mate in a civil union." Then the poor fellow dies and Melchiondo no longer feels obligated so he comes out of the closet and exposes his flaming, Cirulli-like bias against civil unions by openly stating (on Jan. 1, 2008) "I don't have the time to perform such ceremonies." Now there's godliness for you!

ET is all for religion. Provided it does not interfere with constitutional liberties. Hell, every member of the ET consortium practices their faith as they choose. However, we all know that when you do or say something, it is forever. A trip to the confessional or a day of atonement might make the perpetrator feel better, but bells cannot be unrung. Prisons are full of criminals who committed the most heinous offenses but have now "seen the light." That "light" has not helped victims whom they maimed, raped or killed.

ET does not dispute or challenge anyone's faith, sincerity or right to worship or not worship as they might choose. We give great credibility to author Valentine Davie's salient line in Miracle on 34th Street that "faith means believing in something when common sense tells you not to."

Just don't use religious dogma as justification to discriminate or wage war on others whom you deem yourself anointed to judge. As that is the very ides of hypocrisy.

From day one, ET has written on a satirical theme. We have affirmed and reaffirmed that many times. While we freely admit that we are nowhere near their levels, we enjoy emulating writers like Jimmy Breslin, et al. Political satire tends to make people think. And there lies our true agenda, Mr. Biggy.

ET criticized local news media for their overly generic coverage of local events. We stand by our sentiments. When it was learned that local politicos were given cushy jobs that they lacked requisite qualifications and/or certifications to hold, ET has always spoken out in condemnation of the person who accepted the job and the political bastards who gave it to them.

During the recent primary campaign, the Chris Myers camp (vote for this guy in November, he is okay on all fronts!) exposed how Diamond Jack Kelly was deeded a position at a local airport that he (Kelly) did not have the necessary degree or experience to hold.

Does the seemingly altruistic Biggy complain that the job should have gone to some mother's child who broke-their-derriere to get the degree or accrue the experience? Did one local newspaper or radio/television station editorialize in condemnation of this cheap, barroom act of partisan politics? Did the working press call for an investigation? Hell no.

When Barnegat township committee member Thomas Hartman confessed that he knew about our town's defective police radio system for FIVE YEARS and never launched an initiative to fix matters, where were Biggy and his buddies? Hell, their typewriters and microphones were so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.

When published photographic documentation of Barnegat squandering public money to redo sidewalks that were in near-perfect condition Biggy and crew were as silent as church mice.

We remind Biggy of one very important FACT. When politicians are elected to public office, they swear an oath with their hand on the bible. Those who then go on to commit improprieties or violate their sworn oath stink. They violate the symbolism of placing their hand on the good book and virtually declare their unholy duplicity. Never mind Flip Wilson's old line "the devil made me do it." These blasphemous bums can go to hell. Anybody that knowingly deceives or hurts a neighbor that placed their faith and trust in them in the form of a vote deserves an unholy hotfoot. And all the post-offense repenting is meaningless. Isn't that right, Mr. McGreevey?

Leave it ET to be the "windbag.," Biggy. There, ET stands guilty as charged.

And we are damned well proud of it.