ET of Barnegat

Barnegat Democratic Primary - The Final Word

2009-05-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

Primary day in Barnegat is this Tuesday, June 2nd. Polls will be open from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Neighbors, the jury is in. After weeks of campaigning, it is abundantly clear that Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein are the only candidates with a realistic strategy to get OUR town out of the doldrums and back on the road to fiscal sanity and a good quality of life.

Their unworthy opponents, Marianne Clemente and Howard Effron are merely two angry radicals who are on the ballot only because they have a childish quarrel with the elders of the Democratic party. Clemente and Effron have no meritorious ideas for Barnegat.

In fact, Marianne Clemente is a known radical. An individual who has proven that she cannot exercise good judgement as evidenced by her crashing of the Memorial Day parade. Ms. Clemente has not offered up one single idea that is sane and workable.

Perhaps worst of all, Clemente publicly supports increased Parkway and Turnpike tolls. Imagine, Clemente would have YOU pay more at a time when many people are out-of-work and on the verge of losing their homes!

Clearly, Ms. Clemente and Mr. Effron do not possess the sensitivity for their neighbors that legitimate candidates must have.

Howard Effron is just as poor of a choice. Mr. Effron has zero-experience in government. This man truly believes he can turn governing Barnegat into a do-it-yourself project. And while his professional background might qualify him for his own show on The Food Channel, it disqualifies him from consideration for sitting on YOUR township committee.

Clemente and Effron are proven liars. In a vicious and below-the-belt underhanded attack, they accused Schenker and Rubenstein of "calling us names."

Friends, ET scrutinized the Schenker and Rubenstein website. We also reviewed the candidates forum on Downtown Barnegat.com and all newspaper coverage of the Barnegat primary. We did not find one single incident of name calling by either Schenker or Rubenstein.

Will YOU vote for liars???
Hell, NO!

Schenker and Rubenstein have proven themselves the time-tested, old-fashioned way. Schenker and Rubenstein stood in front of a nominating panel and answered their questions. Clemente and Effron had the same opportunity but refused. Why are they afraid to debate in front of those who know them best?

The answer is obvious to those of us who pool our experience here at the ET consortium. This cheap, petty masquerade by Clemente and Effron is being perpetrated at the expense of YOUR family. For Clemente and Effron to call themselves "transparent and accountable" and then refuse to stand the test of public scrutiny is pure hypocrisy.

Yes friends, this pathetic melodrama is the handiwork of a political cabal that could give a damn about Barnegat or YOUR loved ones. It is nothing more than a proliferation of smoke-filled room politics at their worst. Clemente and Effron deserve to be run out of town on June 2nd. Anyone who can use their neighbors as hockey pucks is despicable.

Marianne Clemente and Howard Effron are the "Dream Team" for Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo and Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli. Melchiondo and Cirulli know they can defeat Clemente and Effron without so much as breaking a sweat.

The truly sad thing is that Clemente and Effron know that, too. But they lack the integrity to shelve the scummy brand of politics they are playing. ET condemns their selfishness, their outright greed and blind lust for power - power they will never get.

Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein have proven themselves deserving of YOUR vote. Schenker and Rubenstein ran their camapign honestly. They did not act like underhanded political thugs. Schenker and Rubenstein stuck to the issues.

On Tuesday, June 2nd, the choice is clear. It is also a very, very important choice.

Barnegat Democrats, join the Democratic members of the ET consortium and elect Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein. Strike a blow for honesty. Strike a blow for integrity. Strike a blow to stabilize taxes.

On Tuesday, June 2nd

Elect
Schenker
- and -
Rubenstein

Vote for YOUR Family!

Clemente Crashes Celebration

2009-05-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

Any trace of doubt that Marianne Clemente is unfit to serve on YOUR township committee was erased on Memorial Day.

Neighbors, Memorial Day is sacred. America mourns her patriotic men and women who died while in the service of our great nation. Memorial Day is NOT a time to play cheap and shabby political foolishness.

But this is exactly what Mrs. Clemente did. Showing no respect for the soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen whom the holiday honors, Clemente drove her personal car adorned with large campaign signs into the line of march. She didn't give a damn about the feelings of the several Gold Star Mothers who were there to mourn their children. Hell no, Clemente only cared about one thing - personal gain.

ET thinks we need to revisit just why Clemente is in the June 2nd Democratic Primary Election along with her stablemate Howie The Herb Effron. The following excerpt comes from a statement Clemente caused to be posted in a candidate's forum on Downtown Barnegat.com:

"My ONLY reason for becoming a candidate was because I did not like how things were being handled by the Democratic leadership in Barnegat."

Marianne Clemente does not give a damn about YOU or YOUR family. Clemente has proven this many times over. Clemente and Effron are in the primary because they have an acute case of sour grapes. Two children who need to grow up and realize that the well-being of their neighbors means more than their immature selfishness.

Marianne Clemente supports Parkway and Turnpike toll increases. Clemente wrote a letter published in an area newspaper saying that YOU deserve to pay higher tolls even though YOU or members of YOUR family might be out-of-work.

Clemente and Effron both support the new tax on YOUR utility bill. How in the name of all that is holy can Clemente and Effron tell YOU they will stabilize YOUR taxes when they are hellbent on increasing them???

Clemente and Effron are playing a cheap and despicable political game. Clemente and Effron refused to stand up like mature adults and debate their opponents in the June 2nd primary. These two interlopers did not have the guts or the integrity to participate in a fair and open debate in front of those who know them for what they are.

It gets better. Read Mrs. Clemente's opinion of today's senior citizens and retirees (same source):

"The retirees of today are nothing like our parents and grandparents."

What an off-the-wall, vicious statement. ET is not making this up, neighbors. Yes, Clemente wrote it. And Effron stands by it. These two have as much business running for office as a blind person does flying an airplane!

It is clear that Marianne Clemente and Howard Effron are unfit to hold public office. People who claim they are "transparent and accountable" but then refuse to participate in the democratic process of debate are fakes and should be rejected.

Do not waste YOUR vote on immature louts who cannot even show proper respect for one of America's most important holidays. Clemente and Effron are playing a game of politics that decent citizens find offensive, crude and childish.

Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein did participate in open and deep-reaching debate. Schenker and Rubenstein fielded all the questions. They were nominated after they passed a test of public scrutiny.

Equally important, Schenker and Rubenstein are both veterans. They understand, appreciate and respect the sacrifices our armed forces make to keep America strong and free. Schenker and Rubenstein were seen along the parade route by three members of the ET consortium. The only thing they both had in their hands were American flags.

And that takes integrity.

The type of integrity Barnegat needs.

By the way, Mrs. Clemente was summarily thrown out of the Memorial Day Parade and told to take a hike - a very long hike.

Clemente and Effron???

Their candidacy is laughable.

On Tuesday, June 2nd

Elect
Schenker
- and -
Rubenstein

Vote for YOUR Family!

On June 2nd It's Schenker and Rubenstein - Best for Barnegat

2009-05-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

Barnegat Democrats. This column is for YOU.

On Primary Day, Tuesday, June 2nd, YOU have a unique opportunity. On June 2nd YOU can take that all-important first step to ending the reign of costly incompetency brought upon YOU and YOUR family by Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo and Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli. YOU can give Barnegat the best possible chance to throw these arrogant, incompetent and self-serving bums out of office.

Marianne Clemente and Howard Effron are NOT electable against the incumbents on YOUR township committee. Clemente and Effron are Bohemian wannabees who are stuck in an overly idealistic and radical world last seen in the chaotic 1970's. Their ideas come straight from The Twilight Zone. Their platform must have been conceived in fantasy land by a group of munchkins who pigged-out on some of the "herbs" Mr. Effron might have sold in his rumored to have failed former business. Do not waste YOUR vote.

Effron says "Barnegat relies too heavily on professionals." "Professionals" meaning attorneys, certified public accountants, architects, etc. "Howie The Herb" can do it better!

Does Howie really believe he can manage YOUR tax dollars on his home computer? Clearly, Effron believes that a multi-million dollar township budget should be in the hands of amateurs.

Maybe Effron thinks he can follow the lead of a few of Barnegat's local lunatics and play lawyer without a legal education or license. Close your eyes and imagine "Howie The Herb" representing the good people of The Mirage against Menk Corporation's attorneys.

Funny? No. It is scary, dangerous - and costly.

If Howard Effron really means what he says then ET knows a haberdasher where he can get a good discount on a strait jacket. "Howie The Herb" needs a better grip on reality, folks. YOUR vote would be wasted on a pathetic dreamer like Mr. Effron.

Is this the type of person to manage YOUR tax dollars? Hell NO!

Let's move on to Ms. Clemente.

Marianne Clemente is known around town as a chronic and somewhat-intrusive malcontent. A radical who can cure the ills of the planet earth with a wave of her magic wand. A former bank vice president and money manager (one of thousands where she worked) who brags of her "experience." And we all know the condition of our economy thanks to bank vice presidents and money managers like Ms. Clemente, Bernard Madoff and their like.

Marianne Clemente is a bit "eccentric" (talk to her if you doubt ET's words). Satire aside for a moment, Clemente truly believes she can end the energy crisis and save the planet by closing down every single power plant and replacing it with a field full of windmills. These windmills, Clemente alleges, will generate abundant power - even on days when there is no wind??? Hell, the wise citizens of Massachusetts are in court to ban the damned things after they proved quite dangerous!

YOU can thank Clemente and others like her for the new tax you began paying with this month's utility bill. That's right, Clemente and others who sing the same song convinced the state to adopt an "energy exploration tax" that YOU must pay. Let's call it the "Clemente tax." And YOU can bet your last dollar that the irrational Mrs. Clemente will raise YOUR taxes even higher if she has a chance - just so she can chase the Holy Grail at YOUR expense!

Clemente also supports toll hikes for the Garden State Parkway and NJ Turnpike! .

Yes, Marianne Clemente is going to stabilize YOUR taxes. In a pig's eye she is!

Neighbors, Clemente and Effron are clowns. Two circus performers whose only reason for running is that they are angry at the local democratic club. That's right neighbors, they have NO commitment to representing YOU and YOUR family - they are just annoyed because they cannot win the confidence of those who know them best. Vote for these two??? You have to be kidding!

Clemente and Effron do not have the interests of YOU and YOUR family at heart. They want to get ride the gravy train and reap the harvest of the expensive medical, hospitalization and prescription drug plan township committee members receive at YOUR expense.

Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein have publicly declared that they will NOT accept the township committee benefit package. Right there alone, Schenker and Rubenstein WILL save YOU and YOUR family tens of thousands of dollars.

Schenker and Rubenstein are the ones to vote for on June 2nd.

ET urges YOU to read the candidates forum published on Downtown Barnegat.com. Digest the responses of Schenker and Rubenstein. They have concrete and sensible strategies to stabilize taxes and improve YOUR quality of life.

Clemente's and Effron's are sheer nonsense in comparison.

Schenker helped hold the cost of education in Toms River to an affordable level. His unpaid and dedicated service to students and parents is magnificent.

Jeffrey Schenker deserved YOUR vote.

Fred Rubenstein served on the Barnegat school board. He was the chairperson of the building committee when the Robert L. Horbelt School was about to be constructed. Rubenstein took the bull by the horns. As a result, the school was constructed for three quarters of a million dollars LESS than had been budgeted. And the excess money was returned to YOU via a TAX DECREASE!

Fred Rubenstein deserves YOUR vote.

Neighbors, 08005 is taking on water faster than the Titanic. And just like that great ship, Barnegat will sink into bankruptcy if YOU don't do something about it and fast.

Melchiondo and Cirulli are directly responsible for YOUR property tax bill. These incompetent and arrogant bums have raised YOUR taxes in each of the past three years since they were elected in 2006. An election that saw Melchiondo and Cirulli use despicable tactics. A campaign that was a disgrace.

YOUR property value has crashed onto the rocks. Melchiondo and Cirulli were quick to flaunt that Barnegat was the #1 place to live. Presently it is #270 - after three long and costly years of their misleadership.

The Cigar Store Indian and Big Al MUST GO. Never forget the callous arrogance of Melchiondo when he referred to YOUR tax bill as a "Christmas present."

And remember that Melchiondo and Cirulli are responsible and YOU should hold them accountable for the screwed-up property tax revaluation that raised YOUR taxes again.

Clemente and Effron are NOT the ones who can beat The Cigar Store Indian and Big Al in November. Schenker and Rubenstein ARE!

The members of the ET consortium - both Republicans and Democrats - unanimously endorses Jeffrey Schenker and Fred Rubenstein.

Take to the Polls Democrats!
On June 2nd

Elect
Schenker
- and -
Rubenstein

Vote for YOUR Family!

Barnegat Board of Education Election - On April 21st The Choice is Clear

2009-04-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

On April 21st, YOU will take to the voting booth and elect three people to serve on the Barnegat Board of Education. Each of these individuals will have a three-year term in office.

ET believes the choice is clear. Even a person with one-inch thick glasses can see that Robert Houser, Elaine Taylor and Rafael Adorno have earned YOUR vote.

Houser, Taylor and Adorno have worked hard. It is their blood, sweat and energy that restored integrity to YOUR school system.

Remember Thomas "The Million Dollar" McMahon? This parasitical vampire was given a contract that paid him more than $6000.00 per week. That's right, neighbors - six grand a week! Now known as "The Willingboro Weasel," Thomas McMeaness is causing chaos in yet another school district.

Every penny of McMahon's ridiculous compensation package came out of YOUR pocket. Bilker, Inkhen and Ford supported that absurd contract. So much for their business acumen.

McMahon, McMonster or McMajesty (take your pick), went on record as calling YOU and every other Barnegat resident "imbeciles." Bilker, Inkhen and Ford can support a bum like this??? A bum who has zero respect for YOU or YOUR family.

Houser, Taylor and Adorno partnered to make certain YOUR children receive the best possible education. By restoring morale among the faculty, administrators and other school district staff, Houser, Taylor and Adorno helped pupils to achieve magnificent test scores. These dedicated Board members lived up to their oaths-of-office and gave little Johnny and Jane a public school environment that was free of the horrors that The Million Dollar McMahon and his gang of thugs perpetrated.

The new Superintendent of Schools Houser, Taylor and Adorno helped to hire is an educator Barnegat can be well proud of. And his compensation package is open and out-front for taxpayers to see. It is a package that is fair and will not throw the school system into the type of controversy that the Scott Bilkers and Ralph Splendorios thrive on. Even the 60-something, pot-bellied Barnegat Bag Man who craves Tammany Hall-like power more than a dry sponge craves water will find the door slammed in his three-chinned, false-bravado face.

And where was Scott Bilker? Where was Jerry Inkhen? Where was Kelly Ford?

They were busy undermining the efforts of a Board of Education that proved YOU do not need to spend a King's ransom on a windbag, egotistical, maniacal, narcissistic Superintendent of Schools who played a vicious game of politics with the future of YOUR children and grandchildren.

Have you ever heard Mr. Bilker speak at a School Board meeting? Just like swindler Bernard Madoff, this "Internet Millionaire" is one of the most arrogant individuals ET has ever listened to. Bilker's blind lust for power overshadows anything that might resemble judgement. Scott Bilker is not the type of person you can depend on to make certain YOUR children's future is protected. YOUR children do not need hostility on YOUR Board of Education.

Jerry Inkhen. Jerry is a truly nice guy. But we need people with foresight and business experience on the Board of Education. In those categories, Jerry comes up somewhat dry. Jerry Inkhen favors returning to McMahon McMadness. And that is unacceptable and just plain dumb.

Kelly Ford. Where was her voice when The Million Dollar McMahon and his press shill (the inimitable Carrier Stiers) withheld confirmed information that the potentially fatal MRSA virus had entered YOUR children's school houses? Did Kelly have laryngitis? Yes, where were you, Ms. Ford?

As R.H. Macy stated it: "you cannot argue with success." And Bob Houser, Elaine Taylor and Rafael Adorno have brought Barnegat the bacon!

These three dedicated Board of Education members reduced costs while making YOUR children's education better.

Bilker??? Hell,YOU already threw him off the Board once!

Inkhen??? YOU wisely rejected him last time around. Do it again.

Ford??? This Ford has a flat tire when it comes to the necessary moxie to sit on a School Board. Buy a Chevy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the record speaks for itself. Houser, Taylor and Adorno did what YOU elected them to do. And they saved YOU and YOUR family tons of money along the way!

So make certain you get to the polls. ET will take a double dose of Geritol and do our civic duty by participating in this important election.

On April 21, join with the ET consortium and cast YOUR vote for the people who have done the job and earned YOUR trust.

Robert Houser
Elaine Taylor
Rafael Adorno

Vote the Blue Team!

The Tale of Two Thomases

2009-01-01T03:33:00.000-08:00

It is early on New Years Day 2009. And the air is fresher and just a bit more pure.

When the ball dropped in Times Square, little did the throng of revelers know they were cheering for Barnegat.

Thomas "The Million Dollar" McMahon is gone.

Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman is gone.

The reign of terror and incompetency is over.

Thomas McMahon is a thug. Plain and simple, this executioner-in-educator's clothing frustrated and chased away numerous teachers who refused to kiss his ring or his butt. His sleazy brand of backroom politics caused more controversy in YOUR school district than any ten other events combined.

The Million Dollar McMahon was the Frankenstein monster of a former Board of Education led by Deborah Masol; who resigned because McMahon "had something on her." Succeeded by the now-disgraced Linda Mitchell, these well-intentioned but stupid BOE members gave McMahon a deal that cost YOU almost $6000.00 per week. These imbeciles kept throwing money, bonuses and other perks at McMahon - and for what?

Maybe it was because several of those BOE members got their spouses jobs in the school district. Hell, three mysteriously left the BOE only to get hired into full-time district employment themselves. They call it "motive."

McMahon bailed out because he knows he might be one step ahead of the Sheriff. His questionable accounting and other practices are now being examined by a BOE who understand why they were elected. A BOE that was elected by a huge plurality because YOU were tired of Mitchell, Splendorio, Kostka, Germano, Durow, Inkhen and their costly folly.

Neighbors, the BOE does not exist to make educational decisions. That is best left to those who have the degrees, certifications and experience.

Rather, the BOE is there to provide oversight into the operations of the school district. The BOE is YOUR personal watchdog. They are charged with the critical responsibility of making certain that the Superintendent of Schools and certain other executive level administrators and outside professionals act in the best interests of Barnegat.

Helping to rid YOUR school district of a monster like Thomas McMahon earns the majority of the Houser-Becker BOE an A+ on ET's report card.

To the credit of the Robert Houser - Lisa Becker led BOE currently in office, hundreds of thousands of dollars of YOUR sweat-laden tax money has already been saved. And, most importantly, the quality of education has risen.

The ET consortium offers a hint to Houser, Becker and the responsible members of the current BOE. If you want a school district free of the barroom politics and treachery, then hire a Superintendent who never so much as heard of Barnegat. Please, do not hire from within. The same vermin who slither through the Board office like worms and rats infecting the schools with political hijinx do not deserve another welcome mat.

When you want a fresh apple, don't go to the basket - go to the tree!

In ET's opinion, Thomas McMahon's deplorable legacy centers on three"achievements."

First, The Million Dollar McMahon was directly responsible for hiding the fact that the potentially deadly MRSA virus had been brought into YOUR schools by a student who simply did not know she was ill. Had it not been for the magnanimous courage of this pupil's mother, Barnegat never would have known. McMahon and his press shill, Carrie Stiers, had placed a Pentagon-like information lockdown on the district. MRSA can KILL people on chemotherapy and those with compromised immune systems.

Second, Thomas McMahon's apparent bias against women. YOUR school district has numerous female educators who have proven themselves over the years. A wise and gallant lady named Roslyn Ribaudo was left to retire when she was definitely the most qualified educator who should have succeeded the esteemed Dr. Robert Horbelt as Superintendent. McMahon made her life uncomfortable after he took over.

Ribaudo is far from the only woman who felt McMahon's penis-superiority. No less than five female teachers were brought to their knees emotionally and resigned less they suffer a breakdown or stroke. Former Edwards School Principal Judy Mazzeo brought a meritorious lawsuit against the district. Highly experienced female professionals in the BOE office also left. People who had served YOUR children well for years but were unwilling to kiss The Million Dollar McMahon's feet.

Last on McMajesty's list of accomplishments comes a toss-up. Was it his burning lust to waste $750,000.00 of YOUR tax money to carpet the playing fields with the now proven-to-be-toxic Astroturf? Or was it the undeniable fact that YOUR school district shelled out record amounts of YOUR tax money for litigation costs brought about by McMahon's arrogance and false bravado? Take your pick.

ET will be watching the headlines from Willingboro once McMahon goes to work there. We will wager our Social Security checks that it will not take long before McMahon has that district in chaos as he did with Barnegat and Plumstead. By the way, do you remember McMahon calling YOU and the entire town "jerks" in the media?

Hey McMahon, don't let the door hit you in the caboose on the way out!

In just a few hours, the annual love fest of the township committee will convene. The "love" here lasts about as long as an Elizabeth Taylor - Richard Burton marriage. The Republican machine will re-anoint Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo as YOUR mayor.

Barnegat taxpayers (YOU!) have no voice in who represents their town as the mayor. The sweetheart system has the township committee do that unilaterally. Once the Republicans can count to three - as in majority - another lethargic twelve months of Melchiondo becomes a certainty. It is a system that makes a mockery of democracy.

One year ago today, Melchiondo began his first mayoralty. The Cigar Store Indian proclaimed "the year of cooperation."

ET will not regurgitate Melchiondo's multitude of failures. We do invite all of you to reread our past columns and search the online newspaper morgues. Melchiondo's track record speaks for itself.

The ET Consortium knows Melchiondo to be a pathological coward and liar. Want proof of that harsh characterization? All you need do is compare this year's tax bill (Jeffrey's "Christmas Present") to last year's. Remember, Melchiondo announced no tax increases. And he lied. Once a liar, always a liar.

Pressing forward, the next Thomas to talk about is the failure in lieu of a man. A person who has lost more jobs than Susan Lucci lost Oscars.

Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman.

Twice fired from private employment in less than eighteen months, Hartman sold his soul to the Republican Clubhouse in Toms River. A man whose engineering skills might be equal to a first year draftsman was hired by Ocean County at an exorbitant salary and benefit package.

The Republicans knew Hartman is a loser (takes Gilmore and Dasti awhile to wake up as they are busy counting their $$$). Therefore, they compromised The Hopeless One. They bailed him out with the job they knew he needed. The Republicans gave no consideration to Hartman's likely incompetency. They just seized on a political opportunity.

Once they bought Hartman, they owned Hartman. Knowing Hartman had no chance to be reelected, they ordered him to drop out of the election. Hartman had no choice but to obey or face a third firing.

Hartman had "so much going for him (sarcasm very much intended). Hopeless had enlisted Anthony "Lightfingers" Gorman to be his campaign manager. Birds of a feather they are, Gorman had been recently fired from his long-term employment for stealing his employer's property.

So much for integrity.

Thomas Hartman manifested an air of superiority and indifference. When this year's ballot question of going deeper into debt to build a recreation complex that the Republican machine defaulted on doing was defeated by a landslide, Hartman was quick to ignore the clear will of YOU and spoke about doing it in 2009. "Doing it," as used here, means inflicting (according to prominent Republicans Jerry and Sue Harper) "a tax you will pay till you die."

ET has no respect for the cavalier pomposity of Thomas Hartman. We think he is a hemorrhoid on the backside of Barnegat. Obviously, we are ecstatic to see him go.

Martin Lisella gets sworn onto the TC today. Hating to be pessimists, ET reluctantly confesses that we have little-to-no hope that Lisella will be anything more than the third stooge of the Republican Party in Barnegat.

Lisella is a commercial real estate salesman. ET believes he will protect his hind quarter by voting straight party line.

The first thing Lisella could but will not do is to follow Len Morano's courageous lead. Stop dispensing patronage to the same old lawyers, engineers and others who have milked the good cow of Barnegat till its utters moan in pain.

Go out for competitive bids. There are hundreds of competent professionals available. Republican honcho George Gilmore's firm was reported to have billed more than $9,000,000.00 last year. That is outrageous. Nine million bucks to a law firm???

Next, stand up like a patriot and call for an end to medical, hospitalization, prescription drug, pension and other benefits for township committee members. It is an insult to every taxpayer that committee members receive these costly perks when they "work" less than nine hours per month!

Of course, Lisella won't do that. Will you, Martin?

What the hell, McMahon and Hartman are history. A pitiful and disgraceful chapter in the annals of 08005 is closed.

Happy New Year!

The Morning After

2008-11-05T04:48:00.000-08:00

If you offend easily, stop reading now and click away from this page. Today's column is going to be one of the most bare-fisted monologues ET has ever written. And we guarantee it will anger many of you.

But that is too darn bad. The ET consortium has a problem with a town that plays home to people who objectively manifest their ignorance of the actions and affairs that negatively impact on their quality of life. ET has seen many unexplainable, boneheaded things happen in 08005. The glaring contradictions shown via the result of last night's township committee election serves to reinforce the Barneghetto image 08005 has earned and so richly deserves.

If the level of stupidity in Barnegat could be turned into cash, America could cure the national debt in the blink of an eye. Perhaps if more of the electorate dared to read, think and analyze, the same type of "change" that happened nationally could have benefited 08005.

Nope. Not in Barnegat. Hell, this damn paradise of ours is either drunk, stoned or so divorced from reality that we would, in fact, buy the oil well in downtown Philadelphia.

How anyone could waste their vote on candidates offered up by a party that has raised Barnegat's taxes by the highest margin in the history of this town astonishes ET. Congratulations, Barnegat has entered the Twilight Zone. Perhaps if some of the people who live here spent as much time getting fluent in the affairs of the town as they do scheming someone else's spouse, the result of the township committee election would have credibility.

There are people to blame. And we intend to dump the septic tank right in their laps.

Where the hell was Dorothy Ryan? Ryan knocked out a Republican incumbent whose campaign outspent her's by more than 10-to-1 in 2007. While Melchiondo the Mayor had his name on just about every campaign flier the Republicans sent out, Ryan was invisible.

ET once referred to Ryan as "Dynamic Dorothy." From this date forward, the cowardly Mrs. Ryan will be befittingly known in these pages as "Dotty The Dud." Shame on you Dotty old gal. You buried your head in the sand and turned your back on many of the people who put you into office when you never got off your keister to do your own campaigning. You are a disgrace to those of us who made an investment of faith and trust in you - an investment we will never repeat. Hey Dotty, next time you try to eat pizza, remember to put your teeth in beforehand.

And where in the hell was that big-mouthed, lame-brained, workers compensation milking load Beer Belly Bill Coulter? Coulter is the democratic municipal chairman. With all the disarray in the local democratic party, he is about as effective as a hairbrush for a bald man.

Let's not forget his bride, Dolores. The once queen of Barnegat disgraced her legacy by not being visible and vocal in the campaign. Like Thomas Hartman, Dolores was bought off with a cushy public sector job. In the finest traditions of cheap politicians, Mrs. Coulter sold her integrity to the highest bidder. Hell, even the pigeons won't take a dump on her now.

Next we have the Barnegat Bimbo Brigade, Marianne Clemente and Rose Jackson. The supposed titular heads of the local democratic club did everything they could to sabotage their candidates with contradictory soapbox diatribes that undermined the campaign. Beware the enemies within. Yes, in this case at least, Brutus wore a brassiere.

Len Morano and Gene Chiarelli did a superb job of pounding the pavement and pressing the flesh. Clearly, they were the best choices for Barnegat. And, again, Barnegat goes true-to-form and shoots itself in the foot by electing another player from the clubhouse and maintaining the balance of power in favor of the very same bums who are taxing us to death.

Perhaps the one saving grace and cause for hope is the remarkable ad hoc, bipartisan coalition of supporters who stood behind Len and Gene. Many townspeople put aside their political preferences and campaigned and voted for the best candidates. If there is any leadership left in Barnegat, it will quickly reconnoiter and marshal these forces. But that isn't going to happen. Too many of the mental midgets are still arguing about who kicked whose grandmother in the bustle fifty years ago.

Neighbors, it makes no sense when you see a local question that was exposed as a new tax go down by more than 2-to-1 and then see the same political party that proposed the tax stay in power. If Barnegat takes World Class honors in anything, then it must be for its illogical and patently moronic actions. If they ever illustrate the word "jerk" in the dictionary, a picture of Barnegat's gazebo will serve nicely.

Barnegat made this mess and will pay the price for it. And to a better bunch of knuckleheads it couldn't happen.

Obviously you have NOT had enough. So spread your back cheeks and prepare for more. Just don't forget to smile as it violates you!

New Tax and Those Who Support It

2008-10-30T03:51:00.001-07:00

ET begins today's column with a warning. A warning that a new tax is lurking behind Local Question #1 that will be on the November 4th ballot.

"The high-powered sports lobby maneuvered our township committee into approving the following referendum (Local Question #1). This is a permanent tax-you'll pay till you die."

Those are not ET's words. They are the words of two prominent Republicans. Jerry and Sue Harper sent them in a widely distributed email to warn townspeople about the current attempt to flim-flam voters into swallowing a new and costly TAX. Jerry Harper was the 2006 campaign manager for the local Republican ticket. ET congratulates The Harpers for having the civic responsibility to breakaway from the tax-and-spend philosophy of the Hartman-Matthews-Lisella clubhouse and stepping up to the plate as part of a bipartisan effort to control the cost of living in 08005. The Harpers know that Barnegat must live within its means.

Neighbors, the undisputed FACTS are that Freeholder "Diamond" Jack Kelly stood in Barnegat town hall and promised YOU and YOUR family that the county would build a recreation complex along Barnegat Boulevard at no additional cost to Barnegat taxpayers. Like so many other promises Kelly has made in the past, it was a LIE.

Think back and remember Jack Kelly. Kelly is the pot-bellied load who mounted an unsuccessful attempt to win the Republican nomination for the congressional seat vacated by Jim Saxton. Kelly was creamed by Chris Myers (an honest man) in the primary after it was learned that Kelly was given a $75,000.00 job at an area airport even though he (Kelly) did not meet the minimum qualifications. One of the bums who voted to give Kelly this political plum was the Ocean County Clerk Carl Block.

Hey, remember when the Hartman-Matthews-Lisella clubhouse told us it would take $13.6 million to build the complex? Then they reduced their guess to $6 million. Now, these great miracle workers are talking $2.5 million. Perhaps they can work some magic on the federal and state deficits. Better yet, maybe a local dealership will hire them to sell used cars.

ET thinks it is worthwhile to take a look at several of the people who are supporting this not-too-subtle attempt to pull the wool over YOUR eyes and raise YOUR taxes.

Thomas "The Sinister Minister" Kostka. This is the self-anointed honcho of Project Playground - or should we say "Koradigo Cove?" Thomas Kostka cannot account for more than $28,000.00 of money that YOU donated to build the playground. Hell, the certified public accountant who donated his services to the project condemned Kostka for his abominable record keeping. Kostka failed to produce even one single receipt for the money (YOUR money) he spent. Thomas Kostka was kicked off YOUR Board of Education this past April after YOU and thousands of your neighbors had a bellyful of his costly fiscal mismanagement. Kostka was part of a Board that levied the highest tax increases in the history of the Barnegat school system. Kostka approved of paying Thomas McMahon more than $5000.00 per week plus a benefit package that would choke a horse.

Anthony "Lightfingers" Gorman. Gorman was the former campaign manager for Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman. Gorman was canned from his former job after his employer learned that he "acquired" company property without company permission. Gorman lost the Republican nomination for township committee in 2006 when he confessed that he was in it for "selfish reasons." Gorman worked with The Sinister Minister during the controversial Project Playground debacle. Gorman is the "go" in Koradigo.

Gerald Inkhen. Inkhen is not a bad guy. But he continually hitches his horse to the wrong wagon. Inkhen ran for YOUR Board of Education in April of this year. YOU rejected his candidacy by an overwhelming margin when it was shown that he had the same tax-and-squander mentality as Kostka and Kompany. If Inkhen ever "smells the coffee," he might be a good public servant.

"Smiling" Sally Germano. Smiling Sally is the mother of the overpaid athletic director of Barnegat high school. YOU threw Smiling Sally off the Board of Education this past April after it was proven that her son was appointed even though he might not have met the minimum qualifications. YOU recognized that Smiling Sally used her influence to realize personal gain for a member of her immediate family. By doing this, Smiling Sally caused another person who had worked hard and did meet all job requirements to be cast aside. Yes, YOU saw through tax-and-spend Sally's three-dollar bill smile and defeated her by a landslide.

"BLL" of the Barnegat Little League. Actually, there is no "BLL." A dumb email was sent (see the viewer's comments section of downtownbarnegat.com) by some schnook that was represented to be an endorsement of Local Question #1. The perpetrators of this unforgiveable fraud clearly endorsed, as the Harpers properly labeled it, "a permanent tax you'll pay till you die."

David "Body Shop" Breeden. Breeden is the current township administrator. Breeden is the guy the Republican clubhouse used as a sacrificial lamb when Len Morano exposed the clubhouse's conspiracy to give select township employees a 49% raise. Breeden is also the guy who was the focus of an intense police investigation when he worked in Camden. Camden cops learned that Breeden was dealing with "friendly"auto body repair shops even though Camden had a contract with other establishments. Hey, the clubhouse only hires the best!

Neighbors, there is one simple and clear issue before YOU. Do YOU want higher taxes??? If YOU do then vote in favor of this question. Just don't come crying to ET when the bill comes in.

The members of the ET consortium will be voting NO on Local Question #1.

Barnegat already has playing fields so little Johnny and Jane don't have to play ball in the gutter. Open up the fields at YOUR high school for the various leagues to use. Take a walk behind the Brackman Middle School. You will find acre-upon-acre of good, usable playing fields that only need minor, inexpensive improvements. Why must we build new ones before using what we already have? This is Barnegat - not the Meadowlands.

The same irresponsible bozos who are pushing for this new TAX are the very people who advocated to have the playing fields covered with Astro-Turf at a cost to YOU of greater than $1,000,000,00. When does it stop?

Friends, this is what Len Morano and Gene Chiarelli are talking about. Every one of the people pushing in favor of this new TAX are members of the Hartman-Matthews-Lisella clubhouse. Some of them have questionable backgrounds. They have been picking YOUR family's pockets for years.

Have YOU had enough???

Kostka, Gorman, Inkhen plus Kenneth Matthews and Martin Lisella are all magna cum laude graduates of the Thomas Hartman school of raising taxes. They all believe in digging YOU and YOUR family deeper and deeper into debt. It is the Hopeless Hartman method that resulted in Barnegat going from the #1 place to live down to #270 - and slipping. This is what lowered YOUR property value.

Thomas Hartman leaves the township committee in disgrace at the end of 2008. Hell, even the so-called "developer tax" that was supposed to pay for recreation was written so defectively that it was stricken by the courts. Talk about the Gang Who Can't Shoot Straight!

Barnegat took a major step forward when we cleaned house on the school board just a few months ago. The immediate benefit of that housecleaning was a savings to YOU and YOUR family of over $500,000.00 in the school budget. No negative affect on the kid's education. Just a trimming of the pork barrel school budget. Something that the Kostkas, Gormans and Inkhens would not do.

Are YOU going to listen to a guy (Kostka) who cannot account for over $28,000.00 of donated taxpayer's money (YOUR money) that was entrusted to him? Can YOU believe a character (Gorman) that was fired because he stole his employer's property? How about a clubhouse-appointed administrator who was closely investigated by the police and thought it was fine to give his pals a 49% pay hike? Or a scheming former school board member (Germano) who took care of her own son by disenfranchising another mother's child? Do YOU have faith in the people who have driven the cost of living in Barnegat to the point where many of YOUR neighbors have lost their homes to the tax man?

Neighbors, do YOU want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge?

Good friends, living beyond our means and mortgaging the future is what got the United States into the financial crisis YOU and YOUR family currently face. Barnegat is not the U.S. Congress. We cannot wave a magic wand and come up with millions of dollars to bail Barnegat out of debt. We have to learn and honor the basic common sense ideals of not buying something unless we can pay for it. Each and every person reading ET's words owes this to themselves and their children and grandchildren.

Join with ET and thousands of YOUR neighbors in striking a blow for common sense and fiscal sanity. Vote NO on Local Question #1.

And while you are at it . . . .

Re-Elect Len Morano
Elect Gene Chiarelli

ET - Silent No Longer

2008-10-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

The campaign for Barnegat Township Committee has hit a new low. A recently published piece of propaganda mailed by the Matthews-Lisella campaign must be exposed for the fake, phony, fraudulent piece of sleaze that it is.

Matthews and Lisella have the gall to accuse Len Morano of "double dipping." In this case, Matthews and Lisella allege that Morano is doing something wrong because he might be realizing a cash payment in lieu of benefits from the Barnegat school system where he has been successfully employed for many years. A cash payment that Morano would pay taxes on.

By the way, how would Matthews and Lisella get this information? School employees personnel records are strictly confidential as a matter of law. It is highly probable that Matthews and Lisella are in bed with Barnegat's controversial Superintendent of Schools, Thomas McMahon. You all know Matthews and Lisella's pal, right? It is The Million Dollar McMahon who enjoys - at YOUR expense - a salary of more than $5,000.00 per week! Are Matthews and Lisella breaking bread with a man who might have concealed the fact that the potentially deadly MRSA virus was in YOUR children's schools?

Small side note, Len Morano works hard as a custodian in YOUR school system. It was none other than Len Morano and his co-workers who put their own health at risk to scrub the school buildings so YOUR children's and grandchildren's safety could be protected. Remember, MRSA can kill.

This is a bunch of clubhouse crap intended to shanghai the attention of voters away from the real issue. An issue that a blind person can see. An issue that the Matthews-Lisella Republican clubhouse majority can fix in a heartbeat but never will.

Friends, why does any member of the township committee receive medical, prescription and other such benefits? Why do they receive a salary? Why are they allowed to collect a pension after only nine years? Why do they reap any taxpayer-funded benefits for doing what amounts to volunteer work? Volunteer work that takes less than 15 hours per month.

Those who serve on the Board of Education put in just as much time as the township committee. And they do not get paid one red cent or have any benefits or pensions whatsoever.

Were Matthews and Lisella honest and genuine, they would put-into-writing a promise to eliminate these costly payouts if they are elected. But they never will. Why you ask? Because the fat-cat, big-wig professional politicians in the controlling Toms River clubhouse won't allow it.

This is the same despicable political swill the Republican clubhouse pulled in 2006 when they used everything from bigotry to hypocrisy to win the majority on the township committee.

And is 08005 better off after several years of Republican clubhouse control???

With the near-highest tax rate in New Jersey, with crime and drug use skyrocketing, with the quality of life nosediving, there can only be one answer.

Hell NO!

Kindly allow ET to go deeper into this issue. Incumbent Mayor Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo's name appears on Matthews and Lisella's printed bull durham. "I endorse the Lisella/Matthews team" proudly proclaims our lame excuse for a Mayor. A so-called Mayor who opened 2008 by proclaiming it "The Year of Cooperation."

Neighbors, the only ones Melchiondo has cooperated with are his brother clubhouse members. Please remember, this is a "men only" fraternity. Women need not apply.

Then there is the "mouse that roared." Better known to beleaguered taxpayers as Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli. Big Al is a Vice Principal in the Central Regional school system. He certainly makes much, much more than Len Morano. Would it surprise you to know that Big Al is cashing in his benefit package??? Does Big Al endorse the clubhouse combination? You betcha!

And let us not forget the man who will soon (not soon enough!) leave the township committee in disgrace on December 31. Good old Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman. Having been fired from two private employers, Hopeless was rescued by the clubhouse. At YOUR family's expense, Hartman now works for the county at a salary of well-over $70,000.00. Hartman receives an overly generous benefit package from his job. Why then is he also getting benefits from Barnegat township??? Talk about double dipping!

Do you think Matthews and Lisella are any better? Both are basically self-employed. You can bet they will take YOUR money as sure as you can say RAISE OUR TAXES - AGAIN! That is why they will never make a call to end the expensive salary, benefit and pension package paid to bums like Hartman. See the truth, neighbors. These guys wouldn't know integrity if it slammed them in the butt.

ET has very reliable sources inside the Republican clubhouse. We know the feckless bosses of the clubhouse read this column. And we would like to offer them a challenge. Yes, a chance to prove to the world whether they are statesmen or just a rancid, rabid herd of vampires who feather their own nests by bamboozling the taxpayers only to bleed them after pre-election promises are forgotten.

ET hereby challenges Kenneth Matthews, Martin Lisella, Jeffrey Melchiondo and Alphonse Cirulli to publicly declare that they will introduce and vote in favor of ending salary, benefits and pensions for township committee members. ET challenges them to do this NOW. C'mon guys, the clubhouse has lots of money to pay Mr. Moriarty. Have him put together another glossy brochure.

Will Matthews and Lisella "Lead the Way?" Will Matthews and Lisella show the type of civic-minded honesty, integrity and money-saving concern they claim to have? Will Kenneth Matthews and Martin Lisella show YOU that they have what it takes?

Don't hold your breath.

Friends, this election is critical. On November 4th Barnegat has its chance to close the clubhouse. On November 4th, YOU can send a loud and clear message to the political Godfathers in Toms River who have maintained a stranglehold on your family's finances for too long. YOU can make YOUR life easier.

Reject these empty suits. Kenneth Matthews and Martin Lisella have done absolutely nothing to show that they are fit to join Barnegat's governing body. It is clear that they will follow in the costly footsteps of their mentor Hopeless Hartman and drive the tax rate even higher.

Never forget, it was the Hartman-Matthews-Lisella clubhouse that gave our town Virginia Novrit. Virginia Novrit is in a FEDERAL PRISON for being part of a multi-million dollar mortgage fraud. Melchiondo, Cirulli and Hartman endorsed Novrit. When Len Morano called for an audit of township funds after Novrit's conviction, Melchiondo, Cirulli and Hartman voted against it. They now endorse Matthews and Lisella.

Federally-convicted felon Virginia Novrit signed checks drawn on YOUR tax money when she held office in Barnegat. Why does the Hartman-Matthews-Lisella clubhouse oppose a simple thing like an audit???

Len Morano and Gene Chiarelli are honest men. Morano and Chiarelli are right for you and your family. Len and Gene have proven track records in industry and government. They are good neighbors and solid citizens. Len and Gene have put forward realistic and achievable strategies to control the cost of living in our town.

All Matthews and Lisella can do is call other people names and make false accusations.

One week from this Tuesday it is in YOUR hands. YOU will decide if the pork-barrel Toms River clubhouse of high-priced, overpaid lawyers will be allowed to pick your pocket with virtual immunity. YOU will decide if those who have broken every promise they have made to YOU and YOUR family can bring two new henchmen onto their squad of squanderers.

Yes, it is in YOUR hands.

Join hands with those of us who refuse to overdose on the clubhouse concoction of kool-aid and sleaze. Stand in that voting booth and speak those famous words: "I'm angry as hell and I am not going to take it any longer!"

Silently recall those words as YOU press the buttons to vote for Len Morano and Gene Chiarelli.

Close the clubhouse.

Elect Morano and Chiarelli.

Zoning Board Bozos

2008-09-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

On September 9th, the Barnegat Zoning Board voted by majority to disallow the application of Cingular Wireless to erect a cell tower on Lower Shore Road.

Clearly, this was consistent with the will of the dozens of townspeople who argued against the application. In fact, Ms. Jamie Griffin reached deep into her own bank account and retained skilled legal counsel to represent her formal objection to the application.

DowntownBarnegat.com bestowed a special award upon Ms. Griffin, The honor was richly deserved.

The purpose of this column is to highlight the utter stupidity and lack of concern for our town manifested by two members of the Zoning Board, Maria Capriotti and Fred Bost.

When voting to approve the cellular tower application, Capriotti commented that it met all legal requirements. She was silent concerning the fears and objections of her neighbors in another part of our one zip code paradise.

Besides, Maria Capriotti is not an attorney. She is not qualified to decide what is legal or illegal.

This is a stark contradiction to the actions Capriotti took when she found herself disturbed by Shoreline Sand and Gravel. In fact, it is pure, unadulterated hypocrisy.

Maria Capriotti lives along Nautilus Drive. It seems that noise from Shoreline's LEGAL business operation disturbed her peace and tranquility. Zealot that she is (pun intended), Mrs. Capriotti rose in righteous indignation and did everything she could to handicap a LEGAL business operation that contributes to the tax coffers of Barnegat and also provides employment to a number of people who call 08005 home. She even appeared in court.

The court did not agree with Capriotti's position. The court - not Maria Capriotti - knows what is legal and what is illegal. It was a disgrace that Mrs. Capriotti tried to manipulate the legal system for her own personal gain. Perhaps Shoreline should have sued her for damages. Hell, maybe they still can.

It would seem that Maria Capriotti has two faces. And she wears the one that suits her purpose depending on whose ox is being gored.

Capriotti felt it was okay to devastate land that has been used for meaningful recreation. She turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the evidence presented by those who testified in opposition. Maria Capriotti could give a damn about the quality of life in Barnegat unless it is her own personal fiefdom that is in jeopardy.

Shame on you, Mrs. Capriotti. Shame, shame, shame!

Fred Bost is just a jerk. Hell, get a load of his pearl of wisdom.

When he voted in favor of Cingular's application, Bost merely justified his position by sagely opining: "It would be a fallacy to go through all this and not approve it."

Can you imagine? This department store dummy hasn't got a clue. Given his history in a more northern area of New Jersey, it is no wonder. ET thinks Mr. Bost is intimately familiar with the meaning of the word I N D I C T M E N T.

Why Hartman, Melchindo and Cirulli voted to appoint this misfit is a question they should answer.

Neighbors, Cingular's application was in hearing for well over one year. And ET believes the process took overly long.

Of course, the hearings could have concluded sooner. But current Zoning Board Chairman Anthony Gorman made some off-the-wall rulings that made it go on and on and on. Gorman was the campaign chairman for Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman before Hartman was ordered to drop out of this year's election by the Toms River Republican machine.

It was Anthony Gorman who ruled that former Zoning Board Chairman and seven year Board member Fred Rubenstein could not be sworn as a witness for the objectors. It was not until the last night of the lengthy proceeding that Barngat learned what it was that Rubenstein had to say.

Reading from a prepared statement, Rubenstein stated that he had been pressured by Hopeless Hartman to speed up Cingular's application and make sure it was approved. Rubenstein refused. And that is probably the real reason Hartman and the other Republican thugs on the township committee did not reappooint him.

What makes this situation special is that Rubenstein wanted to testify under oath but Anthony Gorman - who probably knew what he was going to say - ruled that he could not. Rubenstein has volunteered to speak with prosecutors and even went so far as to agree to submit to a polygraph (lie detector) examination.

ET would pay big money to see Thomas Hartman make a statement while hooked up to a polygraph.

Better yet, the day Rubenstein met with Hartman, he was there to help Hartman get a job after Hartman had, again, been fired. Imagine, the guy extends himself to Hartman and is then stabbed in the back. How do you spell "scumbag" - H A R T M A N.

Barnegat Township has become a cesspool of thugs and political hijinx. Our town is in the sorry state of affairs it is because jerks like Fred Bost, Maria Capriotti and Anthony Gorman are appointed to serve on Boards and Commissions that make the decisions which directly impact on the quality of living and property values.

Every single one of them were put there by Jeffrey Melchindo, Alphonse Cirulli and Thomas Hartman.

It is high time for a housecleaning, neighbors. Political whores like Mayor Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo and Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli must go. These bums are the puppets of a political machine led by crumbs like Gorgeous Geoge Gimore and Diamond Jack Kelly.

Hell, you remember Kelly. He's the failed candidate for United States Congress who stole a job at an area airport. ET says "stole" because it was revealed that Kelly accepted appointment from the South Jersey Transportation Authority even though he lacked the professional qualifications.

George Gilmore is the luxury lawyer whose firm has made millions via fees paid for 100% by taxpayers like us. And what has Gilmore given us in return? A bunch of local political dirtbags who have driven the tax burden up into the stratosphere.

Thanks to public pressure, Hopeless Hartman leaves the township committee in disgrace on December 31. And that day cannot come too soon for ET. Hartman has been the root cause of irreparable damage to Barnegat.

Hartman, Melchiondo and Cirulli are directly responsible for the exorbitant tax burden that everyone who reads this column must pay or face losing their home or business.

Martin Lisella and Kenneth Matthews are not the ones to fix things. Their campaign slogan of "Leading the Way" is the route to even higher taxes and more home foreclosures.

More on that as ET presses forward to election day.

Alex Becker - American Hero

2008-08-24T04:25:00.000-07:00

Alex Becker is a member of the first graduating class of Barnegat High School. Last Tuesday, young Alex shed his well-earned cap and gown for a new uniform. The uniform of his country.

The draft was eliminated in the late 1960's. American young people now enter our armed forces as volunteers. These young patriots are the backbone of our national defense. God only knows where the USA would be were it not for the Alex Beckers of our world.

By now Alex has experienced the "joy" of the drill instructor waking him from bed in the middle of the night by banging a baton around the rim of a garbage can. By now Alex has also been thrust into a communal environment with his brother enlistees who come from all across the landscape of our country and are diverse in race, religion and other factors.

Basic training was never meant to be a picnic. It is a time-tested ritual designed to downplay a person's individuality and train them to realize that they must learn the art of teamwork if they are to survive in a military environment.

ET also enlisted; albeit in the United States Air Force. Hell, we did it just about at the same age Alex Becker did. On the third day of basic training we were wondering just what in the name of hell we had gotten ourselves into.

The Chaplain addressed our squadron on the third day at the dust bowl of Lackland Air Force Base. "Basic training will be one of the best times of your life - when you are through with it!" espoused the good Padre. Those remarks were the gospel.

The six years ET spent in uniform were some of our best years. ET knows Alex will come to feel the exact same way.

But today's column is not about rusty old war stories. Today ET writes to emphasize the glory and majesty of Alex Becker's dedication to his country and his service to you, me and every other American.

Recently the name of Michael Phelps adorned television screens around the globe. We were captivated by young Master Phelps's achievement as he shattered Mark Spitz's Olympic swimming record.

However, Phelps is an athlete. Not a hero.

Phelps became an instant multi-millionaire the minute he won his last gold medal. His name and likeness will adorn cereal boxes and underwear advertisements.

Alex Becker and his comrades wait for our government to give them the basic right of their vote in elections, equitable veterans benefits and a salary that fairly compensates them for the risks they take in defense of the freedom that allows the Michael Phelps of this nation to dive into swimming pools without a dictator's blessing.

The U.S. Navy just got themselves a stand-up young man. A young man who is strong in spirit and soul. A young man named Alex Becker who has his head on straight and will prove to be a leader in the truest sense of the word.

Alex Becker comes from grade-A stock. He is the son of Mrs. Lisa Becker. Mrs. Becker has devoted herself to the people of Barnegat. She is a champion of our constitution proving it by creating and editing The Barnegat Press. Mrs. Becker currently serves all of us as the Vice President of the Barnegat Board of Education.

And she does so with honor and dignity.

ET wishes Alex Becker Good Hunting and God Speed. We consider Alex a giant. In a world where so many people idly place an American flag on their home but do not even take the time to vote, Alex Becker stands out from the crowd.

Alex Becker. One of ET's Real American Heros.

Public - Private - Parental

2008-08-09T07:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, Len Morano's son was busted on a drug charge. What in the name of all that is holy does that have to do with Len other than the excruciating pain he or any parent would experience if their child were caught up in such a mess?

ET says that the leaches and ghouls who are trying to make political fodder out of this are scumbags incarnate. They are lower than what a whale leaves on the ocean floor. If you are one of them, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Many public figures have experienced the most brutal of emotional trauma due to the mishaps of their kin. But it was their kin who committed the act, error, omission and/or crime. It was their kin who, in the cases of alcohol or drugs, suffer from a recognized disease that manifests itself via unlawful acts. And it is their kin who should and will be held accountable.

Former President Jimmy Carter's bozo brother Billy was a national clown. Often stewed to the gills in public, this buffoon put "Billy Beer" on the market. But that was the brother, not the president.

Former First Lady and failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is married to a man who cannot seem to control his hormones. The "first husband" waved the "first penis" like an American flag on July 4th. Every time ET saw Hillary on the campaign trail this past spring we wondered if Jennifer Flowers or Monica Lewinsky were waiting for Bill back at the hotel.

Mrs. James McGreevey had a husband who was our state's top elected official. The revelations about scandal based on sexual awakenings were only so intense because he held public office. It was his other offenses that brought him to resignation, as they should have. But it is his ex-wife and children who will bear the agony of the media's insensitivity to privacy.

Barnegat's current mayor has his pain, too. Of any person who lives in the 08005 wonderland, he should understand what is going through Len Morano right now. And he should be the loudest voice in the crowd to remind everyone that a parent's heartbreak is totally irrelevant to their position in life; even if that position is on the township committee.

ET condemns substance abuse vociferously. We have little tolerance for drunks or junkies. Especially when they inflict harm on innocent people. Every time we drive past the Nicole Trapenese memorial sign we remember Ray and Cheryl Barrett grieving. A young girl who never had a chance when a damned drunk drove his car into her's. Such trauma never goes away.

Whether ET likes it or not, drug addiction and alcoholism are recognized diseases. In the case of illegal drugs, punishment under the law often runs concurrently with medical and psychiatric therapy.

ET believes you just don't turn your back on a human being because their affliction is not manifested by a fever or a rash. After all, what does cancer, tuberculosis, polio or heart disease look like?

That is not meant to suggest that we absolve a substance abuser from facing legal consequences. It simply means we accept that which those who are far more qualified than we have decided to be fact.

All of the people whom ET has mentioned most likely love their kin. The pain they suffer for the sins and/or tragedies of their kin is stabbing and horrible. There is no aspirin or percoset pill that can ease their hurting. Their tears are very, very real.

ET has been bare-fisted when we take-to-task a public official who fails to serve the electorate or who has taken advantage of their office for personal gain. We pistol whip that person. Not their spouse, child or great Aunt Tillie.

Two members of the ET consortium were at a local convenience store on Wednesday. Conversation on the checkout line was about Mr. Morano's son. It was a cheap, vicious and totally offensive monologue by one of the local windbags whose own closet is far from clean from what we know of him. This knucklehead ranted on and on about how Len Morano has a hatred for Artie's Angels because his boy was terminated from the police department years ago.

That is absolutely not true. Len Morano's track record is a clear matter of public record.

Morano has always supported public safety as a top priority. The fact that he applies common fiscal sense when he feels a proposed expenditure is excessive is something we should all be grateful for. Hell, it is why we voted for Len and plan to vigorously support him again this year.

ET does not believe we need more SUVs in the police fleet. That does not mean we want to see our cops patrolling in Honda Civics or other compact vehicles. It simply means that we do not conclude that gas guzzlers will make one bit of difference in patrolling a town where 99.9% of the streets are paved and in relatively fine condition. For the few times weather is inclement to the point where a 4-wheel drive vehicle is needed, there are already several four wheel drive SUVs available.

And if David "Body Shop" Breeden were stripped of his 4-wheel drive jeep, there would be one more. ET is of the firm opinion that Breeden does not merit a vehicle that is paid for by the taxpayers.

Len Morano is our neighbor. Len has been a friend to all the people of Barnegat. Right now, Len is hurting. It is a type of pain that any parent whose child has pulled a major screw up can relate to. That pain plagues a parent 24/7. Knowing your kid is incarcerated behind bars is a terrible cross to bear.

ET thinks back to watching the now-deceased actor Carroll O'Connor, star of the landmark television classic "All in the Family." O'Connor once took to a witness stand and testified about the tragic death of his boy, Hugh. ET remembers being on the verge of tears as Mr. O'Connor shared his mortification and hurt as he poignantly described the ordeal that the disease of drug addiction had wrought upon his beloved son and himself. Hugh O'Connor died a violent death. And all of his dad's millions could not prevent it.

To Len and all other parents who walk at his side with similar pain, ET sends our prayers and best wishes.

To those who would kick a man when he is down and vilify Len over this tragedy we wish you an all expenses paid one way trip to a place where hypocrisy and false bravado blow up in your face..

All loving parents stand by their children - no matter what.

How to Ruin A Summer Weekend

2008-08-02T03:55:00.000-07:00

The so-called "preliminary tax bill" arrived in mailboxes across 08005 just in time to cloud over a beautiful summer weekend. Taxes in our one zip code corner of heaven are out of control. The incompetence and years of mismanagement have made Barnegat a very expensive place to homestead.

And it needs to be fixed.

Centuries ago, Confucius sagely opined that a bell cannot be unrung once it has sounded. There is wisdom in those words. But no one says it should be allowed to ring a second time.

This past April, Barnegat voted to change the majority on our Board of Education. The plurality for the newly elected members was a landslide condemnation of the controversial business and personnel practices of a man who just might be the absolute worst Superintendent of Schools in the history of Barnegat.

Despite a well-funded campaign of sleaze by the McMahon-supported incumbents, 08005 stood up and loudly proclaimed that we are sick and tired and are not going to take it anymore. Hell, we threw the tea into Barnegat Bay and struck a chord for educational excellence and fiscal responsibility.

The fear mongers and doomsday crowd are everywhere. They continue to predict that the educational product in Barnegat will crash up onto the rocks solely due to the new BOE members.

And that is a bunch of crap.

If some of these gossiping canaries would give it up and devote as much time to their spouses as they do to talking, the adultery rate in Barnegat might decrease.

Barnegat has bid a not-too-fond farewell to Thomas McMahon's right hand lackey, Brian Falkowski. Sensing that the jig is up, Fearless Falkowski bailed off the sinking good ship McMahon before it goes under. ET has learned that The Million Dollar McMahon once again showed his true colors by not even making an appearance at Falkowski's farewell soiree.

Neighbors, please do not fret. The grapevine has it that Dr. McMajesty has already found a replacement for Bodacious Brian. Enter Gorgeous George Delaporte. Yes, Gorgeous George is now the one to tote The Million Dollar McMahon's suitcase of ego, paranoia and treachery.

Forsaking the camaraderie of his colleagues for the almighty dollar, Gorgeous George will perform in a sterling manner when he tells McMajesty the sweet odor of his flatulence. A few dedicated teachers may take it in the caboose, but such are the casualties of war. Georgie Boy will do whatever has to be done to make certain his master smiles.

ET thought Delaporte was more of a man. Obviously, we were dead wrong.

Our new BOE is working hard to get a grip on the incredible cost of running a relatively small school district. ET salutes their courage and tenacity. To those who spread false rumors that there is infighting, we say "not"!

Healthy, productive debates on the BOE are what was long overdue. The Linda Mitchell-led BOE walked in lockstep rubber stamping whatever The Million Dollar McMahon told them to. Your tax bill is living proof.

ET wants to give you a coming attraction of where we will be taking this column as August leads to September.

The matter of Thomas Kostka refusing to account for more than $28,000.00 of money donated to Project Playground is far from over. Every time ET sees one of those new blue signs emblazoned "Project Playground" we are reminded of this possible impropriety.

Townspeople who believed in this project and put their money on top of that belief deserve an honest answer supported by an accountant's certification. Twenty-eight grand is no bag of shells, Mr. Kostka. And your mail order minister camouflage just ain't gonna cut it. If the Sinister Minister raided the poor box and then cooked the books, it is a job for the Prosecutor's office.

Kostka, Anthony Gorman and others vainly named Project Playground "Koradigo Cove." They did not have the permission of the township to do this. Hell, those who broke their buns to build the darned thing were outraged at their conceit and egomaniacal act of narcissism. If the town has done anything wise in the past few months, it is to make certain that the self-serving name of Koradigo Cove is left in the dust.

Nor has ET forgotten the mysterious incident of the 49% salary increase that Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo, Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman and Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli were trying to sneak through.

One of the best moments of true comedy was to see these three political whores with egg on their ugly kissers when Lonesome Len Morano exposed this costly scheme. What did Melchiondo, Hartman and Cirulli do, you ask? They put the hit on their paid whipping boy, township administrator David "Body Shop" Breeden (more on this prize package coming up).

A pet issue of those who team up to bring you the ET perspective is the outright bias, prejudice and hatred of Alphonse Cirulli. Behind his fast-shrinking disguise of being a pious person is the clear and damning truth. Cirulli's infamous and sacrilegious fire-and-brimstone monologue condemning the legal ceremony of a civil union was a desecration of the constitutional liberties that are the foundation of this thing we call America.

Civil unions are not about gay people, straight people or the man from mars. Civil unions are a legislative reaffirmation of the right of ALL Americans to live as they choose so long as they abide by the law.

While some might argue that Alphonse Cirulli was under no legal obligation to perform such ceremonies when he was Barnegat's mayor, that is no excuse for him to abuse that very same office by openly condemning the choices of his constituents. For Cirulli to sit on a dais under the shadow of the American flag is a contradiction and an outrage. Do not forget that Melchiondo and Hartman endorsed Cirulli's clearly bigoted position.

Hatred is a malignancy that you, the voter, have the absolute power to eradicate from our township's government. Your magic bullet is the simplicity of your vote. Support those who realize that the essence of our democracy is the civil liberties of you, me and the person next door across our great nation.

To his absolute credit, Len Morano renounced and vigorously condemned Cirulli's bigotry. Mr. Morano understands that he is a representative of all the people. And for that, standing alone, he should be re-elected.

Friends, this November's election is going to be big. With 2008 being a presidential election year, it should be. The focus of this column will not be the White House; although we might mention our choice for the presidency

Rather, we will zero in on the "outhouse" of Barnegat Township. ET will put before you the facts that never seem to make it into those glossy brochures or cowardly excuses for newspapers that are mailed to 08005 homes.

The facts that challenge the false veneers of the Melchiondos, Cirullis, Matthews and Hopeless Hartmans of the political manure pile should make for interesting reading.

ET suggests you make an enlargement of your new tax bill. Tack it on the refrigerator door so it is in plain sight. Put it there so you stay angry at how the current machine has made you dig so deep into your pocket that there is almost nothing left.

This Election Day, remember the rat finks who did this to you and your family.

The Barnegat Mis-Leader

2008-07-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

That Pulitzer Prize-worthy bastion of excellence-in-journalism arrived in everyone's mailbox this past week. The Barnegat Leader is a rah, rah, rah, sis-boom-bah free newspaper (and we use the term loosely) direct mailed and chocked full of advertisements and press releases camouflaged in newsprint to give them an air of legitimacy.

One featured story provides a forum for the cowardly Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman to engage in yet another episode of self-canonization. Hopeless regurgitates what he believes were his accomplishments during the overly long period he took up space on the township committee.

In one of his biggest lies ever put-in-print Hopeless declares "I kept my promises!"

And that declaration by Thomas Hartman is absolute crap.

Hopeless claims he preserved several hundred acres of open space. That statement is pure Bull Durham made by a cowering crumb who would not recognize truth if it hit him where he sits. A cheap political thug who attempts to manipulate the system to fatten his own wallet after proving his incompetence and polluting the countryside with his flatulence.

Does anyone forget how it was Hopeless Hartman who, singlehandedly, riled the volunteers who serve on the Open Space Committee when he, along with Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo, tried to purloin open space funding to pay for a park that county government promised to build for free?

Does anyone forget that Hartman got himself a cushy county job for over $70,000.00 plus benefits after being axed by two private sector employers in less than thirteen months?

Does anyone forget that Hartman started defending Ocean County Freeloader and rejected congressional candidate "Diamond" Jack Kelly when Kelly defaulted on his promise to build the Watts Park once he (Hartman) got the public sector job?

Does anyone forget that Hopeless Hartman proved his bigotry and hatred when he supported that pathetic little mouse Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli's discrimination against our neighbors who desired a simple and private ceremony of civil union?

Does anyone forget that it was Hopeless Hartman who flat out confessed that he knew about the defective police radio system for five long years and did absolutely nothing to fix it until after Barnegat Police Officer Chris Smith was attacked and almost lost his eye?

Does anyone forget that it was Hopeless Hartman who voted to bring in a tax revaluation company and caused the single biggest tax increase in Barnegat's history?

Does anyone forget that Hartman lied when he promised a traffic signal at Rosehill and Barnegat Boulevards prior to the opening of the 2007 school year? Construction on that project first began last month but only after several serious accidents.

Does anyone forget that Hartman singlehandedly desecrated Barnegat's Heritage Day?

Does anyone forget that Hartman failed to recuse himself from a vote at the Planning Board when a client that his former employer (he got fired) represented came before them and he (Hopeless) voted to approve the application under suspicious circumstances?

Why was this truthful and accurate information not in the article? Hell, The Barnegat Mis-Leader is no newspaper in ET's opinion. It is a disgrace to journalism. It is not even fit to wrap fish in.

On the front page of The Mis-Leader is an article about the controversial cellular tower that Cingular Wireless wants to build on Lower Shore Road. If approved by the Zoning Board, this tower will wreck a priceless land site that could and should best be used for recreation.

At its May meeting, current Zoning Board Chairman Anthony Gorman unequivocally stated that the July meeting would be for public testimony on the application. Both sides had completed the presentation of their cases and called all witnesses.

Cingular has dragged this case on for months in a deliberate attempt to bring the opposition to its knees financially. The "opposition" is a small group of our courageous neighbors who are paying for their own attorney with their own money. It is a scummy tactic used by lawyers when they know their case is weak.

Three members of the ET consortium were in town hall at the July meeting. The room was packed. Low-and-behold if Gorman does not allow Cingular to further convolute matters by calling another witness to "rebut" earlier testimony. Now the case has been delayed until September. And Cingular is changing its tune in an effort to resuscitate new life into an application they know should be rejected.

It is a shame that they seem to have found an ally in Anthony Gorman - a person who should be impartial but might not be. Gorman used to be employed by a firm that is a major cellular carrier.

Gorman is a Hartman-Cirulli-Melchiondo appointee to the Zoning Board. Gorman was Hartman's campaign manager before Hartman quit. There is more ET could add but we will refrain. Unlike Hopeless Hartman, ET will not cause a family pain or embarrassment.

The unilateral ruling by Gorman to allow this additional witness was a clear betrayal of the public trust. A trust necessary for the Zoning Board or any other Board or Commission to maintain the faith and respect of the community. How many bites of the apple will Gorman allow? How many chances to "get it right" will Gorman give this corporate giant at the expense of local townspeople?

Hell, when the objectors lawyer attempted to call the former Zoning Board Chairman as a witness, it was Gorman who refused to allow the testimony to be put on the record. Gorman is the Zoning Board Chairman. Gorman rules on the objections. Gorman is supposed to maintain a level playing field.

Conspicuous by his absence was Zoning Board Vice Chairman John Germano. Mr. Germano knew the criticality of this case. No excuse or other viable reason for his absence was given when roll call of the Board members was done. Had Germano been announced as being ill, ET would not be writing this. But his possibly over-casual attitude about participating like he promised to do when he took his oath of office merits comment.

Yes, this is the same John Germano who was anointed as the athletic director of Barnegat High School by Thomas "The Million Dollar" McMahon while his mother served on the school board and his (Germano's) qualifications were challenged. Mrs. Germano was subsequently defeated by a landslide in a failed reelection bid.

It should be noted that the "star reporter" for The Barnegat Mis-Leader did not attend the July meeting of the Zoning Board. Anything he wrote is, therefore, based on second-hand knowledge making it possible hearsay. Typical of The Mis-Leader.

The Barnegat Mis-Leader has an invisible editorial policy in ET's eyes. Never have we seen the publication opine on an issue. Never have we seen one of its "reporters" (roll over, Edward R. Murrow) go beyond the press releases to get the real story. The closest this rag comes to "investigative reporting" is to print an advertisement for an Easter egg hunt.

Barnegat politics are sleaze incarnate. Due, for the most part, to the absence of a working press that understands and practices the edicts of the time-honored traditions of the Fourth Estate, the Hartmans, Cirullis and Melchiondos are virtually free to indulge in the scurrilous flim-flam that hits all of us in the pocketbook.

Just imagine how the six o'clock news would rip into a phony like Hartman. Hell, ET would give two months of social security checks to get Hartman on the air with our good friend Bob Grant. Heck, imagine Hartman, Cirulli and Melchindo facing off with that suspender-wearing media giant Larry King!

It is the pusillanimous press corps who covers Barnegat that gave birth to ET, The Barnegat Press and other such websites. It is the feckless, topical reporting of prepubescent correspondents that help us grow. It is the obvious acts of censorship wherein a web editor for the major daily in this area would rather post a photo of her being licked by a dog then provide a fair forum for open and frank dialogue in an effort to ferret out the truth.

Only two writers have ever shown the testosterone to be called "reporters" as ET defines the word. Gregory Volpe and Alan Guenther. Remember the names of these journalists. There is zero doubt in ET's mind that you will soon see their bylines either in major, legitimate newspapers or on television. They have the stuff and are not afraid to use it.

As for the lead reporter (or is it "only") on The Barnegat Mis-Leader, well, we are going to be kind and say the old geezer is just tired and needs a long rest.

Rest well Mr. Englund, ET will press forward.

Scared of Losing Majority Republicans Ax Hartman

2008-07-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman has finally performed a bona fide public service for Barnegat Township. In a pathetic monologue replete with choked-back crocodile tears, Hopeless announced he is dropping off the ballot for the November election.

ET had a ringside seat for this nauseating spectacle this past Monday at town hall. There he was, poor Hopeless claiming that "health reasons" were the cause for his decision. And while ET would never exploit the medical concerns of any human being, we are not buying Hartman's transparent excuse. One member of our consortium had a double mastectomy, underwent five months of chemotherapy and still remained at her elected post. Another served his city well and stood for two successful reelections despite a battle with prostate cancer. Feeling sorry for one's self is not something ET has any tolerance for. Especially when it is perpetrated by a public official who is a first class bum.

ET has come to acquire several valuable sources of information. And two of those sources confirm that Hartman was read the riot act by a bag man sent by the Ocean County Republican bosses in Toms River. Hell, it was easy to convince Hopeless to follow orders. It was this same political whore house that rescued the possibly incompetent Hartman and gave him a county job after Hopeless was canned by two private sector employers in less than thirteen months. Hartman either dances to their music or the orchestra stops playing and he is back on the bricks.

What legacy does Hopeless Hartman leave behind? Did Hartman help bring some relief to overburdened taxpayers by working to reduce taxes like good Republicans should?

Hell no. This bum and his Republican cohorts Melchiondo and Cirulli brought to town a tax reassessment company that crippled Barnegat with the largest tax increase in our town's history.

And that is only one line-item of dozens of acts of mismanagement, abuse of power and other skullduggery.

ET could fill ten columns with Thomas Hartman's misdeeds. Costly misdeeds that hit every Barnegat taxpayer smack dab in the pocketbook. Misdeeds that made it impossible for some residents to take a vacation, fix up their home or give their kids decent holiday presents. Misdeeds that served to discourage merchants from opening up shop in 08005 and drove others out of business. Misdeeds that are directly responsible for the many homes that were abandoned by our neighbors who just could not afford the taxes.

Thomas Hartman is a person who never should have been in public office to begin with. When he won election it was by the smallest of margins. And he won not because he was the better candidate, Hopeless won because the opposing candidate was a bigger bozo than him and ran a campaign that was ineffective.

Thomas Hartman had no problem supporting the bigotry of Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli when it came to denying constituents the simple nicety of a ceremony of civil union. Hartman clung tight to scripture and poisoned the good book with cleverly disguised hatred and wickedness. His example to young people was one of evil, duplicity and prejudice.

2008 was destined to be the year of Hartman's defrocking. The county bosses knew that. Even the local bag man of the Barnegat Republican Club discreetly voiced his often-ignored opinion that Hartman needed to go. The cigar smoking, beer guzzling and girl-chasing thugs who have a stranglehold on county government knew that they were about to lose the cash cow of 08005. Everything from the township attorney to the engineer and township administrator were at risk. Ain't none of 'em losing one red cent to protect Thomas Hartman. So much for honor among thieves!

ET has zero respect for Hopeless Hartman. We have watched his condescending attitude towards his constituents. We saw his callous apathy over the two arduous years he was mayor. And we saw him destroy several fabrics of tradition that once served to galvanize communities within our town.

What bothered us the most was Hartman's phony displays of emotion when he mentioned his "dedication" or his own family. When in the very next breath he caused intense emotional pain to other families. His act of desecrating Barnegat's Heritage Day was a prime example of just what a two-faced weasel he could be.

Thomas Hartman had one love. And that was Thomas Hartman. His ego hypnotized him into believing he was an effective public servant. The only thing Hartman ever served were his own self-interests. Hell, remember how he canonized the school district when he did not even have enough faith in our teachers to send his own kids to public school? Remember how he failed to abstain from voting on an approval for a new business even though he later acknowledged he had a conflict of interest?

There will be those who criticize ET for ranking out Hartman the way we have done in this column. While ET respects your right to your opinion, we could care less. Hartman's deplorable record speaks for itself. The indelible stain of his numerous screw ups will continue to cost taxpayers for decades to follow. Hartman does not merit praise or thanks. Thomas Hartman is not an elected official our town should be proud of. ET hopes the memories of townspeople will long remember how Thomas Hartman hurt their quality of life.

Hartman's time in office is best summed up by taking off the sympathy-laden rose colored glasses and realizing that it is not about what Thomas Hartman did FOR Barnegat. It is about what Thomas Hartman did TO Barnegat.

Don't let the door hit you in the caboose on the way out.

Cell Tower Climax Amid Allegations of Possible Political Tampering

2008-07-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday, July 8th, the matter of Cingular Wireless's application to construct a cellular tower on a property along Lower Shore Road will come to conclusion. The application has been the subject of hearings by Barnegat's Zoning Board for many months.

ET strongly suggests our readers visit www.downtownbarnegat.com. Read the open letter posted by our neighbor, Jamie Griffin. Ms. Griffin has fought the good fight. She has the courage of her convictions and put her money (a sizable amount) where her mouth is.

Ms. Griffin's opposition to the cell tower is fact-based. Her primary concern is the good and welfare of her fellow townspeople. Should a perfectly feasible recreation site be devastated when viable alternatives exist? Ms. Griffin says "no." ET agrees.

Cingular needs an extraordinary variance to make this project happen. Ms. Griffin and her numerous supporters fear that this will set a dangerous precedent that might lead to other parcels of land in 08005 being devastated all for suspicious corporate greed.

A thorough reading of Ms. Griffin's letter will raise your eyebrows. She credibly details several irregularities on the part of our township committee. In particular, Ms. Griffin mentions that "great statesman" and current mayor of our single zip code paradise, Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo. She writes: "Mayor Jeff Melchiondo and the Township Committee's refusal to acknowledge that seven landowners in the area of the proposed site have offered to house the cell tower on their own properties where, in every case, it could be placed well off the road, out of sight and without the need for variances."

ET admits we are not cheerleaders for The Cigar Store Indian. The man who kicked off his mayoralty by declaring 2008 to be "The Year of Cooperation" is probably one of the most uncooperative, acerbic and pusillanimous people ever to hold elected office in 08005. Melchiondo spends taxpayer money like he has been drinking too much "firewater." We don't know what dictionary he favors, but his twisted definition of "cooperation" makes ET wonder if Jeff puts "funny tobacco" in his peace pipe. Saving grace is that his reign of apathy and confusion is on the downhill side of the mountain, thank God.

That unimpeachable statement by Ms. Griffin makes any reasonable person wonder what in the hell is going on here. At the last meeting of the Zoning Board, Ms. Griffin testified under oath. It was her sworn testimony that township officials (whom she did not name) told her "do not waste your time [opposing Cingular's application], this is a done deal." Cingular's attorney did not challenge her during the opportunity for cross examination. Nor did the Zoning Board attorney.

ET asks, how could anybody who is a member of the town's governing body declaratively state a pending application is a "done deal" unless a fix was in? What in the name of all that is righteous is going on here, neighbors?

Equally curious is that the former Zoning Board Chairman tried to testify at the last meeting. The Zoning Board, after advice from their attorney, refused to allow that. Ms. Griffin says that he will speak at Tuesday's meeting. Heaven only knows what will be said.

Cellular communication has become a way of life. ET does not believe Ms. Griffin or her supporters deny that fact. However, that does not mean that a profiteering cellular carrier should be allowed to scar the countryside at will. It does not mean that our town which is pressed for recreational alternatives should allow a site like Lower Shore Road to be sullied with a tower - especially when other landowners have voiced their welcome to have the tower built on their property.

ET understands that certain laws guide the Zoning Board. This is even more so when it comes to communications towers. Nevertheless, the Zoning Board has denied such applications in the past. When another cellular giant wanted to raise a tower smack dab in the middle of the many graves located in the historical Barnegat cemetery, the Board denied the application.

ET believes there might be some hanky-panky in play. We hope that Ms. Griffin will change her mind and tell the public the names of the governmental officials who told her that this application is a "done deal." Once she does that, it would be appropriate for the Ocean County Prosecutor to launch an investigation.

Barnegat has been the venue for a few curious land transactions over the years. Blue roof condominiums, Settlers Landing variances and more. These are not simple cases of landowners making a fair profit. Rather, they are suspect, sweetheart deals that had a lasting and costly impact on every Barnegat taxpayer. And the way business was done might not have been ethical.

Tuesday night's 7:30PM meeting in town hall might just be the hottest ticket in town.

Ninja Nonsense

2008-06-29T04:39:00.000-07:00

Thank God the Barnegat school district acted in the best interests of protecting students and staff. Thank God established procedures were followed quickly. Thank God Artie's Angels once again earned their wings by responding immediately.

And by the grace of Almighty God, we should not care if radio commentators like NJ 101.5's Jim Gearhart or other Monday morning quarterbacks make cheap fodder out of Barnegat's concern for human life.

No comedy in today's column, neighbors. ET is 100% serious. Security can never be taken for granted. ET would rather see what others label as "overreaction" happen a million times than to bury just one innocent human being because we were asleep at the switch.

Shame on Jim Gearhart for criticizing Barnegat. Does Jim forget the many acts of wanton murder and terror that went down successfully because vigilant security measures were not in place or, if they were, somebody failed to activate them because they made a wrong call? Sure, it makes for entertaining morning drive-time banter to joke about alarms and sirens going off when an eight year-old child is seen walking in the woods in a ninja getup and we lock down the schools. Hell, I am sure the station's switchboard lit up with callers waiting to jump on the Bash Barneghetto Bandwagon.

Lord knows ET is the first to throw rotten tomatoes when we think the powers-that-be in Barnegat lay an egg - and that will not change. But this time we tip our hats to whomever made the decision to err on the side of caution. Hell, Gearhart and his fellow talk show hosts would have been the first ones to call for a medal to be bestowed had the scare proved real.

What does a murderer or terrorist look like, Mr. Gearhart? Ask the people who lost kin on 9-11. Go over to the many countries where suicide bombers waited in bus stops and then blew themselves up taking other people to Mecca with them once they boarded the bus. Go to several college campuses where innocent pupils only graduation was celebrated in a cemetery because a lunatic sprayed a classroom with bullets, all because vigilant security measures were conspicuous by their absence.

Do all that. Then condemn 08005.

Last, go ask our Supreme Court what in the hell was in their breakfast mush when they said it was wrong to execute those who harmed children but it was just to cripple some of the most effective gun control laws in our nation. Yes, the same black-robed codgers that validated eminent domain where an elderly couple can lose their home to clear a path for a shopping center or other "economic benefit."

ET says WELL DONE to those who made the decision to act decisively.

And to Jim Gearhart and all the other Armchair Admirals we say: NUTS!

Biggy - The Final Chapter

2008-06-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

ET does not engage in silliness. We have more productive ways to spend our time then by responding to the asinine pontifications of an individual or group who cannot face facts. In fact, this will be our final words in retort to David Biggy.

David Biggy is a sports writer for a local newspaper. In defense against comments ET has made about area media, Biggy makes a failed and limp-wristed attempt to crucify the men and women who collaborate and conspire to stir our reader's emotions in an effort to motivate them to discuss issues and look beyond the anemic headlines that local print publications provide.

ET is far from being a sports aficionado. Hell, we used to watch baseball when it was still a game. Nowadays, it is more a business. Post-pubescent men making exorbitant salaries (almost as much as The Million Dollar McMahon!) for hitting a ball with a stick. The players real concern being who will get signed for the jock strap commercial or how much can I bilk a child to pay for my autograph. Hey Biggs, remember the days when a ballplayer would be pleased to sign an idolizing child's baseball for free? ET supports local, intramural sports so long as it does not override the academic (and primary) mission of schools.

But let us not stray. Biggy says ET is an "uninformed windbag." He then "repents" by telling us he will pray for forgiveness for losing his cool and making those remarks. And that has to be one of the phoniest, irreverent and most pathetic statements any human being can ever make. It is akin to Barnegat's feckless mayor, Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo, vowing to a friend that "when Cirulli leaves center seat and I become mayor, I will unite you and your soul mate in a civil union." Then the poor fellow dies and Melchiondo no longer feels obligated so he comes out of the closet and exposes his flaming, Cirulli-like bias against civil unions by openly stating (on Jan. 1, 2008) "I don't have the time to perform such ceremonies." Now there's godliness for you!

ET is all for religion. Provided it does not interfere with constitutional liberties. Hell, every member of the ET consortium practices their faith as they choose. However, we all know that when you do or say something, it is forever. A trip to the confessional or a day of atonement might make the perpetrator feel better, but bells cannot be unrung. Prisons are full of criminals who committed the most heinous offenses but have now "seen the light." That "light" has not helped victims whom they maimed, raped or killed.

ET does not dispute or challenge anyone's faith, sincerity or right to worship or not worship as they might choose. We give great credibility to author Valentine Davie's salient line in Miracle on 34th Street that "faith means believing in something when common sense tells you not to."

Just don't use religious dogma as justification to discriminate or wage war on others whom you deem yourself anointed to judge. As that is the very ides of hypocrisy.

From day one, ET has written on a satirical theme. We have affirmed and reaffirmed that many times. While we freely admit that we are nowhere near their levels, we enjoy emulating writers like Jimmy Breslin, et al. Political satire tends to make people think. And there lies our true agenda, Mr. Biggy.

ET criticized local news media for their overly generic coverage of local events. We stand by our sentiments. When it was learned that local politicos were given cushy jobs that they lacked requisite qualifications and/or certifications to hold, ET has always spoken out in condemnation of the person who accepted the job and the political bastards who gave it to them.

During the recent primary campaign, the Chris Myers camp (vote for this guy in November, he is okay on all fronts!) exposed how Diamond Jack Kelly was deeded a position at a local airport that he (Kelly) did not have the necessary degree or experience to hold.

Does the seemingly altruistic Biggy complain that the job should have gone to some mother's child who broke-their-derriere to get the degree or accrue the experience? Did one local newspaper or radio/television station editorialize in condemnation of this cheap, barroom act of partisan politics? Did the working press call for an investigation? Hell no.

When Barnegat township committee member Thomas Hartman confessed that he knew about our town's defective police radio system for FIVE YEARS and never launched an initiative to fix matters, where were Biggy and his buddies? Hell, their typewriters and microphones were so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.

When downtownbarnegat.com published photographic documentation of Barnegat squandering public money to redo sidewalks that were in near-perfect condition Biggy and crew were as silent as church mice.

We remind Biggy of one very important FACT. When politicians are elected to public office, they swear an oath with their hand on the bible. Those who then go on to commit improprieties or violate their sworn oath stink. They violate the symbolism of placing their hand on the good book and virtually declare their unholy duplicity. Never mind Flip Wilson's old line "the devil made me do it." These blasphemous bums can go to hell. Anybody that knowingly deceives or hurts a neighbor that placed their faith and trust in them in the form of a vote deserves an unholy hotfoot. And all the post-offense repenting is meaningless. Isn't that right, Mr. McGreevey?

Leave it ET to be the "windbag.," Biggy. There, ET stands guilty as charged.

And we are damned well proud of it.

Lonesome Lenny & Dynamic Dotty Save the Day - and Some $$$

2008-06-23T03:40:00.000-07:00

ET begins today's masterpiece with a disclaimer of sorts. Every member of the ET consortium has the highest level of respect for Barnegat's Finest - our Police Department. When we refer to the gals and guys in blue as "Artie's Angels," we do so in an objective manifestation of reverence. Chief Arthur Drexler is doing a splendid job. Drexler and his co-commanders have polished The Angels into an elite team of law enforcing crime fighters that does 08005 proud.

ET agrees that Artie's Angels MUST be equipped with the latest technology. We no longer live in the days of Dick Tracy where a cop can pull-out his trusty magnifying glass and discover whodunit. Today's criminals are more vicious, brutal and cunning then those of yesteryear. Fight fire with fire or watch Barnegat burn to ashes.

Caveat. Our words in the last paragraph are not meant to even remotely imply that spending should be frivolous. ET vehemently disagrees that Barnegat needs to increase its fleet of gas-guzzling SUVs if Artie's Angels are to be well-equipped. The cops already have several of them on patrol. Surely, if the State Police have a majority of Ford Crown Victorias on the road, Barnegat can function with the same, less-extravagant fleet. It is the mobile technology inside those cars that concerns ET.

Township Committee Members "Lonesome" Len Morano and "Dynamic" Dotty Ryan are to be commended. ET salutes their wisdom in questioning the need to add SUVs to the cost of the police budget. Morano and Ryan support upgrading the Angel's communication system. Had The Three Blind Mice named Hartman, Melchiondo and Cirulli not been so busy playing stupid political games, this could and would have been done long ago.

Another culprit is Barnegat's Township Administrator David "Body Shop" Breeden. The Man Who Will Paint Any Car for $29.99 was so tied up trying to help The Mice sneak through a 49% pay raise for select township employees that he neglected to take care of what is really important. We are certain the family of injured Officer Chris Smith will be sending Breeden a Christmas card.

It was absolutely comical to learn that The Three Blind Mice plan on using surplus bond money to fund improvements for Artie's Angels. If Mister and Missus Barnegat went into hock for this money way back when, why was anything "left over?" Why were each and every one of us paying interest on money that was clearly not needed at the time it was borrowed?

ET will tell you why. It is because 08005 is in the hands of a political machine that does not know its rear end from its elbow. The Three Bind Mice hired an uncertified administrator named Breeden only because the local Republican bag-man ordered them to. They KNEW Breeden lacked the certification necessary to serve as Barnegat's CFO but went ahead and hired him anyway. When you are dealing with a political party that boasts the leadership of a thug named Gilmore and can hire unqualified sweat hogs like Diamond Jack Kelly to work at airports, what else should you expect?

When Barnegat was ranked the #1 place to live in New Jersey, those in-the-know knew that "honor" was bought and paid for by an area builder. Hell, advertising dollars can buy just about anything from a magazine or newspaper (ain't it the truth, Biggy?). Now, that rating has mysteriously backslid to #270. Why? What changed in 08005?

The answer is that nothing changed except the date - and the tax bill. Perhaps the builder who paid the initial endowment got what his company wanted and saw no need to throw good money after bad. Perhaps that builder realized how hard it will be to attract purchasers once the cost of living in 08005 becomes known to them. It is a system that smells like an overfilled septic tank at high tide.

Neighbors, our town is in the hands of clowns who obey the edicts of the Toms River Republican Clubhouse like trained dogs. Their virtual Pavlovian response to the boss's call is hitting you, us, our children and grandchildren right smack dab in our bank accounts.

Hell, drive through YOUR town. Look at how many homes have been abandoned. Banks are reveling in orgasmic delight at the number of foreclosures. And Barnegat is not getting its tax dollars simply because people can no longer afford to pay the outrageous levy.

Len Morano was the sole member of YOUR township committee who stood up to decry the revaluation of property when Melchiondo, Cirulli and Hopeless Hartman voted to bring in an assessment company whose work product was inaccurate. The Three Blind Mice are not good custodians of YOUR town. Rather, they are three incompetent buffoons who pontificate but have not a clue how to legislate in YOUR best interests.

This November you have a chance to do something about it. Just like you cleaned house at YOUR Board of Education you can begin to throw these fools out of town hall. Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman has cost YOU and YOUR family plenty. Hartman is not worthy of YOUR trust. Hartman was rescued by the Toms River Machine and given a cushy County job at more than $70,000.00 plus lucrative benefits after he blew two private sector positions. Why is Ocean County hiring possible incompetency with YOUR tax dollars when better choices are readily available? Perhaps the job they gifted to Hopeless Hartman should have gone to YOU or YOUR loved ones.

ET salutes Morano and Ryan. We commend them on their clear understanding of what the term "public service" means.

In the same breath we throw a verbal rotten tomato to the incompetent masquerading as Barnegat's township administrator. There might be a lot more to the story about why Mr. Breeden was the subject of a special investigation when he had suspicious dealings with auto body shops during his tenure in Camden. Of course, with "zealous" local journalists (rollover Horace Greeley) like Biggy on the beat, it will be left to ET to uncover the rest of the story.

And we will.

Biggy He Ain't

2008-06-20T03:23:00.000-07:00

Who says Halloween doesn't come to Barnegat until late October? If you visit www.downtownbarnegat.com and view their "reader comments" page, you will find a holier-than-thou diatribe by a wannabee journalist named Biggy.

Biggy verbally assaults ET's veracity. He rags on us because we dare to write under a pen-name. The fact that countless high profile reporters (those who, unlike Biggy, make the REAL newspapers) have done likewise since paper first welcomed ink seems irrelevant to Mr. Not So Biggy.

Next, he does a little bible-thumping. Biggy alleges ET might be a blasphemous heathen because we told a local politician to "go to hell." Hey jerk, where the HELL was your voice when Alphonse "Big Al" Cirulli, Jeffrey "The Cigar Store Indian" Melchiondo and Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman were using religion as a basis to discriminate against human beings seeking the simple and peaceful ceremony of a civil union?

Sorry Biggy old boy, but you cannot have it both ways. See, one of the biggest problems in Barnegat is that we lack a news media who understand that reporting means more than filling newsprint with meaningless drivel about local cupcake bake-offs and other such earth-shattering events. The watered down newspapers in this area are the single most important reason the corner convenience store carries major dailies from the New York and Philadelphia areas. Save for one or two of the reporters, the alleged "news hounds" on the Barnegat beat wouldn't recognize a news story if it bit them on the backside.

And just what is the "editorial policy" of newspapers that cover Barnegat? Have you ever seen anything that resembles investigative reporting? Other than a Greg Volpe or an Alan Guenther, have you ever read a story by one of the regular reporters that goes beyond a press release or sound byte?

Where were Biggy's heroes when the MRSA scandal broke in Barnegat's schools? Had there been a true press corps in Barnegat, reporters would have dug as deep as needed to uncover and reveal the truth.

Not so in Barnegat. And the hack, whore political machine that has driven the cost of living through the roof loves it this way. When it was learned that Diamond Jack Kelly was given a job at an area airport that he was not qualified for, why did area media not follow-up? C'mon, we had a political bozo rip off Mister and Missus Barnegat for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And all the Biggys of the working press worry about is that ET signs our work "ET."

ET has said it before and will now say it again. Any crumb-bum politician who violates the public trust by trying to flim flam and bamboozle the people of 08005 can go straight to HELL. Do not pass "go." Do not collect $200. Just take an all expense paid trip to HELL. A one-way trip to HELL.

And be sure to send Biggy a post card when you get there.

PS: Hey Biggy, we want to thank you for reading our work. Hell, we KNOW you will keep on reading, too. Sorry, but we don't read yours. Time is a precious commodity and ET does not waste it. ET luvs ya, Biggs! Land O'Goshen! Hallelujah! Yes, yes, YES!

Road Warriors

2008-06-08T04:52:00.000-07:00

It is that time of year. Until Labor Day, the Garden State Parkway ("GSP") serves as venue for the weekly demolition derby that makes driving such fun.

Recently, the Highway Authority lowered the speed limit to 55mph over the stretch of the GSP from Toms River to mile marker 100. This appears to be one portion of the parkway that plays unwilling host to numerous serious accidents.

ET salutes this initiative. However, it is worthless without militant, zero-tolerance enforcement.

Several state police patrol units are now equipped with laser speed detection devices. If you see a trooper seemingly aiming a gun-like thingy at your oncoming car, you can reasonably conclude the officer is using laser. According to ET's research, laser is finite-accurate. More importantly, it is damned near impossible for even the most sophisticated radar detector to pickup until the motorist is within the trooper's line-of-vision.

Here comes the spoiler. It is common knowledge that troopers allow what is called "tolerance." In this usage, "tolerance" is a certain number of MPH over the posted speed limit before the cop pulls you over and issues a summons.

ET remembers our frequent use of the GSP when the speed limit for the entire road was 55. Back then, CB radios were commonplace. Ratchet-jawing motorists told one another that a trooper running radar would not chase you unless you were doing over 70. More often than not, this proved true.

A tolerance of 15 MPH above the posted limit is excessive in ET's unprofessional opinion. At the current 65 MPH limit, this means you can get away with tooling along at 80 before a cop will bust you. A quick visit to any of several highway safety websites will educate you to the facts about the perils of driving so fast in today's flimsy cars.

Why police agencies allow "tolerance" is a mystery. In olden days, the argument was made that a cushion was allowed motorists to compensate for the inherent inaccuracies of speedometers. ET thinks that excuse is pure bull.

Today's cars have far more precise technology. If you own a GPS device that shows your speed, try comparing it to your speedometer. ET's experience is that they match up most of the time.

Want cars to slow down, Governor Corzine? Then order your troopers to bust anybody who does more than 3 MPH over the limit. If they say their speedometer is defective, then scrape off the inspection sticker until it is fixed.

Next item. Ever notice how driving a car on a high-speed road becomes an extension of the male genitalia? Otherwise mild-mannered folk become insatiable maniacs when they take to the super slab. Tailgating so close that you can see the ring in their nose, these idiots place their life at risk as if to declare that they welcome the thrill of a collision that will maim or kill them.

Hell, if you want to kill yourself, ET invites you to have a good time. But you do not have a right to take innocent folks along with you. Grow up and act your age.

One group of idiots that stand out in the crowd are the weekend warriors who buzz along at breakneck speed on these racing motorcycles with the balloon tires. These moronic imbeciles bend down low and goose the throttle so they can show off for other motorists. They sneak up on your rear bumper and then shoot in between two moving cars so they can display their prowess.

While ET does not suggest that all motorcyclists are irresponsible (some are damn fine drivers), this group of dumbbells make Hopeless Hartman look competent by comparison. We don't know about you, but we could care less if one of them dumps their bike when showing no concern for the safety of others. Yes, we mean that.

If you want to be a Road Warrior, buy a video game.

Hartman Finishes Dead Last!

2008-06-04T03:39:00.000-07:00

ET salutes the wise people of Barnegat. In what should prove to be a glimpse of the November election result, Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman drew the least number of votes among the four mainstream candidates both Republican and Democrat.

Yesterday's primary was only the preliminary. The main event happens in November. On that fateful day, Hopeless Hartman will get the reward he so richly deserves. ET believes that Mister and Missus 08005 have seen through the veil of Hartman's gross incompetency. They now recognize The Hopeless One for the bungling and inept bozo he is. A man who has cost every single tax payer a tidy sum over the almost six years he has taken up space on the township committee.

The saga of Hopeless Hartman is pathetic. It is filled with disservice, apathy and conceit. During Hartman's two terms in office, our town's quality of life has deteriorated. At the same time, the cost of living in Barnegat has skyrocketed. Home foreclosures are at a record high. Who in the hell in their right mind would cast their vote to perpetuate this crap?

Hartman has bled the people. After being given the boot from his last two jobs, Hopeless Hartman had no qualms of conscience about double-dipping after his bed buddies in the Ocean County Republican machine bailed him out by giving him a cushy county job.

Why would Ocean County want a professional who was "ordered to leave" his last two jobs in the private sector? Hell's bells, who bets money on a horse with such a lousy track record? But when you toe the party line and lend your name to shenanigans that are contrary to the public good, Boss Gilmore makes sure your wallet is stuffed - at taxpayer expense.

Thomas Hartman's arrogance is a disgrace. This self-anointed emperor purposely scuttled Barnegat's annual Heritage Day. Hartman did this in a spiteful act of vengeance against the highly respected Harrington family. The Harrington's are good neighbors to all who live here. They are honest, hard-working and friendly folks who have contributed much to our town. And they have never made one red cent while doing so. The simple fact that they had the "audacity" to disagree with Hopeless Hartman raises their stock even higher in ET's portfolio.

If you have not already done so, ET urges you to visit www.downtownbarnegat.com . This is the community website maintained by the Harringtons. It is a valuable source of information designed to instill pride and conscience in the hearts and minds of all who live in Barnegat. Right now, you can read a vivid story of how Hopeless Hartman's viciousness has been extended to deprive our children and grandchildren of a piece history.

Hopeless Hartman cannot deny the truth. His line-by-line, vote-by-vote, issue-by-issue history will be resurrected so the voters of our township can make an informed decision this year.

ET mourns the electoral loss of Chris Myers in Ocean County. We applaud Chris for fighting the good fight. We thank Chris and his family for stepping up to the plate in a valiant effort to replace wrong with right. Thankfully, Chris prevailed overall.

Diamond Jack Kelly is a load. Kelly is testimonial to a political machine that needs to be disassembled. Kelly's victory marks a sad day for the people of his district. We can only hope that Kelly will soon find a new career path - perhaps he can become a 400 lb. ballroom dancer. Washington has enough clowns without adding Diamond Jack to the mix.

Our focus will be on Hopeless Hartman. 08005 has seen the blissful wave of common sense and responsibility that has assumed command on the Board of Education since The Blue Team swept the election on April 15th. Change is not a dirty word. Change can be the magic bullet that gets our single zip code paradise back on-track.

HOPELESS HARTMAN MUST GO!

Peas in a Pod

2008-06-02T02:08:00.000-07:00

ET apologizes for our overly long siesta. There is a lot to see in our great United States. For the past few weeks, we have been out seeing some of it.

ET visited several suburban towns in several states. We were quite impressed with the demeanor of those municipalities. Cleanliness. Reasonable costs-of-living. And faith in local government by the townspeople.

Not so in Barnegat, New Jersey. 08005 is cursed with a township committee that reminds us of a burlesque show. A cheap, scheming bunch of charlatans. Incompetent buffoons who play a sometimes-treacherous game with the lives of the people they are supposed to serve.

Friends, ET usually mutters a few choice expletives and hangs up the phone when we received one of those automated telephone calls. But we must confess to savoring every syllable of the calls we have been getting urging us to vote against the Ocean County political machine in tomorrow's primary election.

Those of you who endure our literary musings know that ET has zero tolerance for Freeholder "Diamond" Jack Kelly. Jack Kelly wants to go to congress. The only place he should go is straight to hell.

Kelly knowingly accepted a political patronage job that he was not qualified to hold. Kelly lacked the necessary college degree. He also lacked the necessary practical experience. Diamond Jack literally stole a job that should have been filled by a competent person. Perhaps YOU or someone you love or know.

Carl Block sat on the South Jersey Transportation Authority. Block was one of the perpetrators who made sure Kelly got this $70,000.00+ per year job. Block knew damned well that Diamond Jack did not meet the criteria. Block must have left his morals at home the day he voted Kelly in.

Having an unqualified person hold down a job is outright dangerous. This clear and basic fact meant nothing to Carl Block or Jack Kelly. Lies, lies and more lies. Patronage to the fat cats who have smiled to your face only to laugh behind your back.

Locally things are not much better. Barnegat is currently placarded with red and white signs urging registered Republicans to cast their vote for Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman in tomorrow's election. After "passing through" two private sector jobs, Hartman was hired by Ocean County. A man whose professional competence is in serious doubt is now paid more than seventy grand (plus benefits) of your hard-earned tax dollars.

Hartman is running with a character named Kenneth Matthews. ET will tell you more about Mr. Matthews as we move towards the November general election. Let's just say he has a few vested personal interests that drives him.

Hartman and Matthews use the slogan "Leading the Way." The first time we saw it, ET almost vomited. Hopeless Hartman's "way" is well-documented. Thomas Hartman has blood on his filthy hands. This double-dipping bum voted to bring to Barnegat the tax revaluation that now has Mister and Missus 08005 paying through their noses. Hartman bears responsibility for the biggest tax hike in our town's history.

Hartman and Matthews will win tomorrow's primary. Hell, when you are the only horses in the race, the outcome is academic.

November might be a different story. Reliable sources tell ET that a virtual army of anti-Hartman forces will make certain that the truth about him will be placed before voters in a most poignant way. ET is proud to tell you that we have enlisted in that army. Thomas Hartman must go.

Tomorrow, you can send a message to the "boss of all bosses," George Gilmore. ET urges you to cast your vote for a man of principle. A man whose promise is more than campaign fodder. A man who will represent New Jersey well if he is sent to the hallowed halls of congress.

Vote for Chris Myers.

Tell Gilmore, Kelly, Hartman and Matthews to take a long trip off a short pier.

Chris Myers for Congress!

Hartmans Heroes

2008-05-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

A person is known by the company they keep. In Barnegat, no one keeps worse company than Committee Member Thomas "Hopeless" Hartman.

First we have Hartman's former running mate Ginny Novrit. ET attempted to contact Ms. Novrit. Her answering machine message says she will return our call in about three years. Novrit is doing time in the big house for her roll in a multi-million dollar mortgage fraud that backfired right in her stupid face. Hey Ginny, hope you enjoy making license plates!

Second is Hartman's buddy and Ocean County FreeLOADER "Diamond" Jack Kelly - another gonniff. The Asbury Park Press reports that Diamond Jack was given a patronage job at an airport controlled by the South Jersey Transportation Authority ("SJTA"). Kelly started at $57,304.00 in 1999 and rose to a salary of $74,662.00 by 2004.

One minor problem. Diamond Jack did not have the college degree or prior experience that the positions required. In other words, Kelly had no right to take those jobs from a qualified applicant who probably needs the money to feed their family. A quick look at Kelly's belly shows that Diamond Jack hasn't missed many meals.

Third is that "innocent" All-American Boy, Carl Block. The oft-revered successor to the controversial Dean Haines, Block served as an SJTA commissioner. Block voted to approve every penny of Gilmore's outrageous billings. He also had full knowledge of Kelly being hired. Block is up for reelection. Bet the ranch that the county machine will paint him to be as pure as newly fallen snow.

Last is the Ringmaster himself. Allow us to introduce you to the capo di tutti capi of the Ocean County Republican Machine, George R. Gilmore. This "boss of all bosses" was paid more than $4.07 MILLION in legal fees when his political bedfellows controlled the finances at SJTA. Neighbors, every red cent of that swag came from SJTA funds.

All four of these political hacks endorsed Hopeless Hartman. That's right, Thomas Hartman was endorsed by a criminal (Novrit) and others who might be on their way to donning a suit of zebra stripes. Hell, is that Diamond Jack ET sees working on the chain gang?

Remember, Diamond Jack Kelly is the two-faced political scoundrel who promised the people of Barnegat that Ocean County would pay 100% of the capital cost for the construction of the Watts Recreation Complex. Kelly's promise proved as worthless as Hartman is hopeless.

Ocean County is one of the most expensive places to live in our state. The thuggery and smoke-filled room inefficiencies and possible improprieties of the county political machine are costing all of us a small fortune. YOU can put a stop to this tomfoolery. And YOU can begin on June 3rd by rejecting the candidacy of Diamond Jack Kelly and supporting an honest man named Chris Myers in the Republican primary. Chris Myers is an honorable man. Diamond Jack is Diamond Jack.

Friends, the standard response of Hartman, Block, Kelly and Gilmore is that this is all a bunch of dirty politics perpetrated by their opponents. Such a statement is a paper-thin excuse for a bunch of bums who finally outsmarted themselves and got caught with their paws in the cookie jar.

Either Kelly had the required college degree or he did not. This is no different than the matter of David "Body Shop" Breeden who is Barnegat's Township Administrator. The Man Who Will Paint Any Car for $29.99 (Breeden, not Earl Scheib) lacked the necessary certification to do the job which Hartman voted to hire him into. A certification or college degree is a black and white matter. Either you have it or you don't. And Kelly "don't."

Many townspeople would like to see the fiscal records of Barnegat Township audited. ET supports this idea with great enthusiasm. Hopeless Hartman opposes it. The reasons for Hartman's opposition are curious. Why would an elected public official (Hartman) oppose such a simple request from his constituents? Does Hopeless Hartman know where the bones are buried? Does this incompetent nincompoop have knowledge of some sinister skullduggery that might lead prosecutors to his doorstep?

Both the Board of Education's and the Township's financial records are long overdue for an independent, comprehensive audit. ET recommends the employment of a forensic certified public accounting firm to examine the books. If any irregularities are found, the accountants should report them to the appropriate prosecutorial agency at once. If you think it cannot happen in Barnegat you might be wrong. Let's not give anybody a chance to cook the books.

Hopeless Hartman will be out of our lives on January 1, 2009 unless Barnegat allows the Republican machine to bamboozle our town the way they did in 2006. Reject the highly polished campaign propaganda. Accept the facts. Discuss the issues amongst your family and friends. Make that all-important informed decision and vote without regard to party line. Who knows, there might even be a credible independent candidate to consider.

Begin cleaning house on June 3rd. Vote for Chris Myers. Tell Diamond Jack Kelly to try working for a living. The exercise might do him good!

ET is Back!

2008-05-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

To plagiarize the late, great General Douglas MacArthur, we have returned!

Rather than submit to the cowardly censorship of the APP blog, ET has folded our tent and moved on to a new home that should allow us to present our perspectives free of the micromanagement of a feckless editor who seems best qualified to judge cup-cake contests and basket-weaving competitions.

And there is much to discuss. ET begins our first Blogspot.com column by giving a 21-gun salute to our new Board of Education.

Neighbors, most Americans are accustomed to candidates whose promises go down the drain once they are elected. This is not the case with The Blue Team of Becker, Pilovsky, Scully, Sarno and Adorno. ET is gratified to know that these public servants are already hard-at-work overhauling a school district that was allowed to run amok under the stewardship of their predecessors.

What the hell gives with former BOE President Linda Mitchell? At the last public meeting, this Shirley Temple wannabee left her seat on the dais and took to the microphone as a "private citizen." We have news for you Miss Twinkletoes, you are a seated Board member. Your "battles" are properly fought at the dais and in closed, executive sessions. For years, the DARE Officer (who just happens to be your spouse) has been detailed to the schools year round - even when they are in summer recess. And while you might argue that he conducts summer programs, the fact is that Barnegat needs him back on the beat.

In case Mrs. Mitchell's rose colored glasses are blocking out reality, ET reminds her that our town has experienced daring daytime robberies, increased vandalism and other threats to public safety. Since our limp-wristed township committee will not support Artie's Angels by giving them reliable equipment and additional personnel, your husband's presence on patrol becomes even more critical. Hell Miss Linda, every gravy train reaches the end of the tracks.

In our last column before APP hit us with the hammer and sickle, ET called upon new BOE President Robert "Howitzer" Houser to impanel a committee to finally get to the bottom of what happened in the MRSA scandal. The public has both a right and a need to know just what went on when The Million Dollar McMahon and his press shill (Carrie "Canary" Sterrs) published phony propaganda denying that MRSA had struck a student.

As we should all know by now, the truth is that an incredibly brave mother spoke out informing the school district that her child did contract MRSA and, unknowingly, went to school while the potentially fatal virus was in her body. The uncommon courage and valor of this noble parent was desecrated by the school district. And their possible improprieties put the lives of innocent children and adults at risk. MRSA can KILL people with compromised immune systems. Isn't that the truth, Mister McMahon?

ET restates our unanimous position that anyone proven to have been involved in this sleazy boondoggle and cover up MUST be fired. Anybody who willfully places the very lives of innocent people in jeopardy is pure scum and should be treated as such.

On June 3rd, the Republican Primary election for Congressman Jim Saxton's possible successor will be held. ET urges all Republicans to join us in supporting Chris Myers. Mr. Myers has built a record based on honesty and service to his constituents. Chris's leadership is exemplary. Most important, he is not a pawn of the Ocean County Republican Machine - a "machine" that has caused the quality and affordability of life to crash.

Mr. Myers is opposed by "Diamond" Jack Kelly. It was Jack Kelly who stood up at a Barnegat Township Committee meeting and PROMISED that the county would pay 100% of the capital cost of building the Frederick A. Watts Recreation Complex. Like so many other promises Kelly and his hooligan chums have made to Barnegat, this promise proved worthless.

Barnegat Township is a mess. ET will be discussing the many issues that need to be talked about as we move closer to the November election. As always, we will do this with the gloves off. If you fancy the sugar coated, non-offensive version, read the watered down excuses on the APP blog edited by a person who forgets that the core of true journalism is investigative and thought-provoking reportage. This chick would rather live in never-never land and publish photos of she and her hound making nicely-nice.

Hey Diana, is "potentially libelous" akin to "almost pregnant?"

Last, ET wishes to thank the people who took the time to express their support and urge us to keep going. At the head of that list is the courageous editor of Downtown Barnegat, Mr. Michael Harrington. ET urges all who suffer through this column to click on http://www.downtownbarnegat.com/ . We know you will feel a true sense of community when you read the comprehensive digest of Barnegat that Mr. Harrington publishes.

Straight ahead!